Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elswhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #arts #elswhere

Art

is considered

valueable

Correct your spelling

valuable

Correct word choice

and get

show examples

get

Correct subject-verb agreement

gets

show examples

used for different means and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

spends a fortune of

money

to maintain and safeguard

such

treasures.

However

, many believe that it is just a waste of

money

which can be spent on something else. I somewhat disagree with

this

statement,

this

essay will discuss and try to identify why

this

is the case with suitable examples.

To begin

with, the

arts

are widely known for the different

perspective

Fix the agreement mistake

perspectives

show examples

to visualize artists' work.

For instance

, Monalisa is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

globally

Change the adverb

global

show examples

reknown

Correct your spelling

known

for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

painting of

a women

Correct the article-noun agreement

women

a woman

show examples

without expression,

while

different stories around

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

monalisa

Change the capitalization

Monalisa

show examples

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

it more interesting resulting in making it a treasure.

Furthermore

, these

arts

pose a way of expression in front of society,

this

Correct word choice

and this

show examples

on many occasions motivates many other students and

people

to show stories through their

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

Thus

, making a valid point for

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

to spend

money

their

money

on.

Conversely

people

who advocate

art

as a waste of

money

describes

Correct subject-verb agreement

describe

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society's other

pressuring

Verb problem

pressing

show examples

point which has more significance in

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

lives

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

poverty, education,

healthcare

Correct word choice

and healthcare

show examples

Government

spending

money

art

directly influences

people

into showing that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

prefer more about

money

than

Change preposition

show examples

people

Therefore

making

Wrong verb form

this makes

show examples

a valid point to

advice

Replace the word

advise

show examples

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

to not spend on

art

projects. In my personal opinion,

Although

it is true that there are plenty of things that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should focus on

such

as resolving the poverty issue, reducing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthcare prices

with

Change preposition

show examples

advancing the healthcare and improving education from

ground

Correct article usage

the ground

show examples

level,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

different

art

project have their cultural significance.

Furthermore

, it is highly

motivative

Replace the word

motivating

show examples

for

introvert

Fix the agreement mistake

introverts

show examples

and specially

people

. In conclusion, it

reaffirm

Change the verb form

reaffirms

show examples

my position of party disagreement with

this

statement.

Arts

have a

significant

Correct quantifier usage

more significant

show examples

value for some

people

than the other. For

some

Add a comma

some,

show examples

it is a motivating factor and for

some

Add a comma

some,

show examples

it is

Change the article

show examples

asset to earn

money

. Despite every significant value,

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

spending a lot of

money

these

Change the determiner

this art

show examples

art

is not justifiable. I believe

government

spending on

such

art

is beneficial for society, till it is justifiable.

Submitted by nick on Fri Aug 16 2024

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task achievement

Try to clarify and expand on your main ideas. For example, when discussing poverty, healthcare, and education, elaborate more on why these are pressing issues that may require more funding.

task achievement

Work on using specific and relevant examples to support your points. This can make your arguments stronger and more persuasive. For instance, you could mention specific government-funded art projects and their impacts as examples.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to coherence and cohesion. Use more varied transitional phrases to clearly connect your points and paragraphs. This will make your essay flow more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Review your introduction and conclusion to ensure they effectively frame your argument. The conclusion should succinctly restate your position and summarize your main points without introducing new ideas.

coherence cohesion

Proofread for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases to improve clarity. For example, "global reknown" should be "globally renowned" and "a painting of a women" should be "a painting of a woman".

coherence cohesion

Your essay shows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion which makes it easy to follow.

task achievement

You have made an effort to present both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the complexity of the issue.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

338 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elswhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some school are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, While other schools have a very relaxed dress code. (What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?)

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Improvements in health, education and trend are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibilities for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People behave differently when they wear different clothes. Do you agree that different clothes influence the way people behave?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.