IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that too much money and time have been allocated to scientific research. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #money #time #research
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Nowadays, there are some people who think that contributing to scientific research is a waste of money. In my humble opinion, it's the best way to increase the economy of developed
countries
as well as
 developing
countries
.
Moreover
, it could help to improve significantly the quality of people's lives all around the world. First of all, let's talk about the medicine. Thousands of laboratories are working with the purpose of finding solutions for life-threatening illnesses.
Furthermore
, vaccines, help to save millions of lives.
Not to mention
 that these findings decrease essentially the expense of the Health System all around the world.
Secondly
, the quality of the home life. Hundreds of devices
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
were developed for daily use, to make our life easier, and to give us an opportunity to spend less time in the kitchen or laundry, and more time with our family.
For instance
 - dishwasher, air-frier, air-conditioner etc. In conclusion, I have to say that in my humble opinion, scientific research has to be one of the paramount parts of the budget in developed
countries
,
as well as
 in developing
countries
Submitted by anastasia on

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task achievement
While your introduction sets the context, it could be made more compelling by elaborating on why some people think that investing in scientific research is a waste. This would give more weight to your counterarguments.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support each main point. For instance, you could mention recent medical advancements or specific household devices that have had a significant impact.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve the logical flow. For example, you could use transitional phrases like 'Moreover,' or 'In addition,' to link ideas more fluidly.
task achievement
Your essay is clear and easy to understand, and your ideas are relevant to the task.
coherence cohesion
Your use of introductory and concluding paragraphs helps frame your essay well.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a logical structure by discussing the benefits of scientific research in different areas such as medicine and home life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocated
  • advancements
  • innovative
  • initial costs
  • global challenges
  • resilience
  • sustainability
  • knowledge dissemination
  • opportunity cost
  • poverty alleviation
  • balancing funding priorities
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