Some people say that schools should teach good behavior to children and introduce them to "right" and "wrong". Parents should not be the only once responsible. Do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that kids who
studying
at Wrong verb form
study
school
might be
Unnecessary verb
apply
learnt
good Correct your spelling
learn
behavior
and be taught about right and wrong Change the spelling
behaviour
things
, it without be
to require not only from Unnecessary verb
apply
parents
. I partly agree that school
is somewhere where children learn first things
and teachers should be an example
of good demeanour.
In modern society, the personality of children is being formed in school
, not with school
programmes and a lesson about family's
values. Change noun form
family
Theachers
affect Correct your spelling
The teachers
to
the pupils as an Change preposition
apply
example
of great
Add an article
a great
person
. Fix the agreement mistake
people
For
example
, they spent
their time with learners and they want to be Wrong verb form
spend
as
them and to try to do as like Change preposition
like
they
.In Correct pronoun usage
them
additionally
, good Replace the word
addition
behavior
depends on Change the spelling
behaviour
classmates
of a child in Correct article usage
the classmates
school
. Because working
with them everyday, Correct word choice
Working
create
a connection with Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
coleaners
. Correct your spelling
co-workers
For instance
, before meeting a teacher, they met
classmates and talk with them.
Wrong verb form
meet
However
, I partly dissagree
with that Correct your spelling
disagree
parents
should to
teach them about good and wrong Change the verb form
apply
things
before going to school
. Meanwhile, parents
also
an Add a missing verb
are also
example
of good behavior. To give an example
, a child repeats things
in
outside Change preposition
apply
what
Change preposition
of what
parents
do.
In conclusion, school
and a
home of Remove the article
apply
parents
become places where children get first
Correct pronoun usage
their first
lifehood
education.Correct your spelling
livelihood
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task achievement
For improved clarity, try to develop your ideas with more specific examples and detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay maintains a clear and logical structure by transitioning smoothly between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance readability and present your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Your essay covers both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which helps in framing the essay effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite