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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

In many nations, young
people
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 are overlooking their opportunity to participate in elections. The primary problem of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is the under-representation of
youth
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 in democratic processes, and the most viable solution is to educate their citizens about the dangers and consequences of
such
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 disengagement. When young
people
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 choose not to
vote
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, it can have negative consequences for them.
That is
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 to say, the
people
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 who actually
vote
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 are mostly older citizens whose concerns are limited to specific issues that reflect their own needs.
As a result
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, whoever wins the election will focus more on the interests of older
people
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, since they are the ones who voted for him, and will likely ignore the needs of the
youth
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.
For example
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, in Japan, they have a significant problem with the fact that their young citizens don't
vote
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, and the majority of the voters are older adults.
Therefore
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, the policies serve the old
people
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 more than the
youth
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, and they tend to ignore the issues faced by younger generations.
This
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 results in the new decisions and laws failing to reflect the needs of the younger
people
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, despite the fact that they represent a huge percentage of the population. A long-term solution to
this
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 predicament is to educate young
people
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 about the dangers of inadequate
youth
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 representation in politics. Children in schools could be taught about the importance of voting and how to effectively voice their needs to the government. They are
also
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 likely to teach their parents about the things they learnt at school, and adults will
also
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 be influenced by
this
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 initiative.
For example
Linking Words
, schoolchildren in KSA were taught about the consequences of the limited political involvement of young
people
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. In conclusion, in some states, youngsters are overlooking their privilege to cast a ballot, resulting in
youth
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 exclusion from political processes, and the best way to curb
this
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 dilemma is to teach the public about the importance of the
youth
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vote
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.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main point in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas with more clear connecting words.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to make them more detailed and specific.
task achievement
The essay addresses relevant issues and offers good examples.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratic process
  • political instability
  • skewed representation
  • governance
  • erosion
  • civic education
  • alienation
  • policy-making
  • accessible
  • incentives
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