Many major cities are facing a housing crisis as they cannot provide enough land for new buildings. Some local governments believe the problem could be solved by reassigning park land for residential development, because this land would be better used for housing.[404]
As the paucity of
accomodation
is looming as an ongoing challenge of Correct your spelling
accommodation
the
contemporary society, manifold governments suggest repurposing Correct article usage
apply
parkland
as residential areas. From my perspectives
, I am staunchly opposed to Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
this
petition due to
Correct your spelling
enormous
Correct article usage
the enourmous
enourmous
advantages that parklands offer
The presence of Correct your spelling
enormous
parkland
offers numerous benefits that incentivize the enhancement of citizens' living condition
. It is undeniable that parks provide valuable leisure amenities – a place to picnic, walk, kick a ball, play with the children, or just immerse in the surroundings and relax. The Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
diminuition
of Correct your spelling
diminution
such
seemingly “urban hideaway” can adversely influence the overall
quality of life by limiting areas for relaxation, recreation
, resulting in lowered mental well-being among the general community. Consider Correct word choice
and recreation
also
that, with the rising epidemic of obesity, it is more important than ever to make space available for physical exercise. Another advantage that parklands offer is their boosting effect on social bond
. Parks in crowded cities Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
is
considered a melting pot where people from all walks of life are welcomed. Change the verb form
are
This
eventually allows social interactions to happen, thereby bolstering interdependence and strengthening the connection within the community.
The downgrade of the environment and biodiversity is also
a pertinent concern when it comes to the demolition of parkland
. Indeed, due to
the indispensable role that parklands play in redressing the balance between human acitivies
and wildlife, specifically by providing natural habitats for animals, reducing urban heat islands and so on, destroying these urban oases is synonymous with tipping the scale against natural elements. Worsened air quality, Correct your spelling
activities
disrupted
animal habitats are cases in point that connote the necessity of Correct word choice
and disrupted
parkland
in urban areas.
In conclusion, although
I appreciate the problem, I wholeheartedly disagree with the view that parks should be used to mitigate housing shortages in cities due to
its
benefits in terms of health, social Correct pronoun usage
their
relationship
and ambient Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
environs
. If space is truly at a premium, city planners would do better to look at reducing the urban sprawl of shopping malls and parking lots.Replace the word
environments
Submitted by Andy on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. You might want to use more transitional phrases and conjunctions to enhance the overall logical structure.
task achievement
Some of the examples provided are a bit general. Including more specific statistics or studies could strengthen your arguments and make your essay even more convincing.
general advice
Take care of small spelling and grammatical errors such as 'diminuition' (should be 'diminution') and 'accomodation' (should be 'accommodation'). This will make your essay appear more polished.
conclusion strength
Your conclusion is strong and effectively summarizes your arguments while also suggesting a plausible alternative solution.
task response
The essay makes a compelling case against using parkland for residential development, supported by clear and relevant ideas related to public health and community well-being.
introduction strength
The introduction sets a clear stance and provides a solid foundation for the arguments that follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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