n many countries, people live longer and longer. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?
It has been seen that in some countries
people
started living longer as expected than they used to . Although
this
trend comes with significant merits such
as spending quality time and fostering relations with grandparents, it would have certain drawbacks associated with it such
as a surge in population growth. I believe that this
would be easily controlled by implementing banning laws.
There are several notable advantages. Firstly
, being with grandparents brings harmony to their family. As,
children will get the opportunity to spend their spare time and could learn many important life lessons from them. To give an example, in some Hindu cultures it is seen that the young generation is more practical at an early age Remove the comma
apply
this
is why they always lived in a joint family with their grandparents since the time they were born. Secondly
, people
who live abroad have always had a fear of losing their family members while
they are away. If the people
start living longer then
it would help to overcome the fear thus
, these people
could embrace their bond later when they visit home.
On the other hand
, this
trend also
brings some threats to the country. The potential drawback is that if people
start dying later then
it would lead to overpopulation and their mortality rates will be surged. However
, this
could be dealt with by introducing policies such
as restricting couples per two kids. To illustrate, if this
law are
introduced Change the verb form
is
then
it would benefit both the family and the government. As,
once could enjoy being around their family members. Remove the comma
apply
This
also
aids in hindering the effects of overcrowding in the region.
To conclude
, there are many significant merits linked with it such
as fostering emotional bonds and learning life lessons from older people
. This
is why I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However
, in order to eradicate the drawbacks, one should need to learn family planning as per implemented laws by governing bodies so that it would not impact the overall
growth of the country.Submitted by sanakalsi3736 on
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task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but they can be further developed with more depth and complexity. Consider expanding on each point to provide a more comprehensive argument.
task achievement
Try to present more specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present and appropriately summarize your main points.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a structured argument with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showcasing a balanced approach.
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