n many countries, people live longer and longer. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

It has been seen that in some countries

people

Use synonyms

started living longer as expected than they used to .

Although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend comes with significant merits

such

Linking Words

as spending quality time and fostering relations with grandparents, it would have certain drawbacks associated with it

such

Linking Words

as a surge in population growth. I believe that

this

Linking Words

would be easily controlled by implementing banning laws. There are several notable advantages.

Firstly

Linking Words

, being with grandparents brings harmony to their family. As

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

children will get the opportunity to spend their spare time and could learn many important life lessons from them. To give an example, in some Hindu cultures it is seen that the young generation is more practical at an early age

this

Linking Words

is why they always lived in a joint family with their grandparents since the time they were born.

Secondly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who live abroad have always had a fear of losing their family members

while

Linking Words

they are away. If the

people

Use synonyms

start living longer

then

Linking Words

it would help to overcome the fear

thus

Linking Words

, these

people

Use synonyms

could embrace their bond later when they visit home.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend

also

Linking Words

brings some threats to the country. The potential drawback is that if

people

Use synonyms

start dying later

then

Linking Words

it would lead to overpopulation and their mortality rates will be surged.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

could be dealt with by introducing policies

such

Linking Words

as restricting couples per two kids. To illustrate, if

this

Linking Words

law

are

Change the verb form

show examples

introduced

then

Linking Words

it would benefit both the family and the government. As

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

once could enjoy being around their family members.

This

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

aids in hindering the effects of overcrowding in the region.

To conclude

Linking Words

, there are many significant merits linked with it

such

Linking Words

as fostering emotional bonds and learning life lessons from older

people

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is why I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

However

Linking Words

, in order to eradicate the drawbacks, one should need to learn family planning as per implemented laws by governing bodies so that it would not impact the

overall

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growth of the country.

sanakalsi3736Sat Aug 17 2024

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task achievement

Your ideas are clear, but they can be further developed with more depth and complexity. Consider expanding on each point to provide a more comprehensive argument.

task achievement

Try to present more specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present and appropriately summarize your main points.

coherence cohesion

You have provided a structured argument with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showcasing a balanced approach.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

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n many countries, people live longer and longer. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulty getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has had negative effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

An international company is offering a temporary job for work experience, write a letter to apply for that job. You need to explain where did you find this information why you want to apply this job what qualification you have what position you want to apply Write on this topic

These days in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.