Discuss the impact of social media on creating opportunities and changing the nature of interactions among young people.
Social
media
has become a part of humans’ lives; specially
for young Replace the word
especially
people
who spend a large amount of time browsing on
their Change preposition
apply
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
celebrity
, watching short videos, or chatting with Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
people
online. In this
essay, I would
discuss two possible points Wrong verb form
will
that
how social Change preposition
on
media
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
on
creating opportunities and converting interactions.
Change preposition
apply
Firstly
, young adults
recently tend to show their talents on the widespread of
social Change preposition
apply
media
platforms, such
as TikTok, because they believe it creates a great opportunity for them to raking
it in or become famous overnight. Wrong verb form
rake
Thus
, many engage in setting up businesses through it,
and are Remove the comma
apply
also
ignited to increase the visibility of their social media
accounts. Whereas
, not everyone realizes how hard being an influencer is, and hardly do
they know it Unnecessary verb
apply
also
comes at a price..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
Secondly
, social media
transmits the way young
generation Correct article usage
the young
interact
with Correct subject-verb agreement
interacts
people
by providing them stages
to share themselves with the world, and meanwhile, they receive Change preposition
with stages
feedbacks
and comments all over the world. Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
For instance
, the utilize
of Instagram makes young Replace the word
utilisation
adults
easily express their thoughts, feelings, and stories, which gathers the
like-minded cohort to support one another.
In conclusion, social Correct article usage
a
media
creates opportunities but also
makes many young adults
believe they could be famous and make a fortune by performing their talents on it. Not to mention
it also
helps young adults
share their view to
the globe and build bonds with Change preposition
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
all around the world.Submitted by TUTOO on
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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, ensure that your essay has clear, logical connections between the points. The transition between paragraphs could be improved to make the essay flow better.
task achievement
Your essay should include more specific examples and references. This will help to illustrate your points more effectively and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Consider expanding on some ideas for more depth. While the essay covers the main points, providing more detailed explanation will strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You have touched on the main aspects of the topic, highlighting both the positive and negative impacts of social media on young people.
task achievement
The language used is generally clear and appropriate for the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.