IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others think that actions can be taken to bring the change. Discuss both views and give your opnion.

#activity #impact #plants #animals #world #people #actions #change #opnion
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For centuries, human activity had several negative impacts on
plants
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 and
animals
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 on
plants
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 around the world. Some
people
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 argue that these behaviours have not changed.
While
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 others say,
actions
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that actions
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 can be changed by humans. In my opinion, I believe humans can
change
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 many attitudes to save these creatures. In
this
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 essay, I will explore two views of
people
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 and
then
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 insert my perspective view. On the one hand, The community has loyalty to life who interested in
plants
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 and
animals
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. One of the major causes is that they have an awareness of respect for any creature in the
environment
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.
For example
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, in my country,
people
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 are interested in
plants
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 to improve feeding and water. At the same time, they have pets in the garden to feed from
plants
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.
Therefore
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, the nations need them to survive.
In addition
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, the government put stricter enforcement on the
environment
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. To demonstrate more, newspapers in the nation wrote about these issues and gave the majority solutions.
On the other hand
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, the populations think these activities do not
change
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 around the world. The foremost cause is government, which means, the government can not put strict rules in the country.
For instance
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, children grow without responsibility through trees and
animals
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.
Besides
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 with, many
people
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 tend to deforestation . In conclusion, human actions affect on
environment
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 , especially
plants
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 and
animals
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. Some members of the community have an awareness to
change
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 these behaviours.
Therefore
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, attitudes attack
people
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 before these creatures and facility many problems if they do not
change
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 their activity. The phenomenon is a chance to improve the country and create a great
environment
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Submitted by lailakhalil3 on

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grammar
Work on grammatical structures and reduce errors such as misplaced commas and articles (e.g. 'the plants and animals' instead of 'plants and animals'). This will help make your essay clearer.
examples
Include more specific and relevant examples. The essay would benefit from well-explained instances that directly support your main points.
cohesion
Enhance your logical structure. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words effectively to connect your ideas.
task response
You show a good understanding of the task and offer a clear response to the essay prompt.
structure
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your argument is mostly clear and understandable, and you try to address both views as required by the task.
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