Studies have shown that many young children worry about their appearance What are the reasons for this? What might best be done to reduce the problems?

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In today’s society, the majority of teenagers are concerned about their appearance.

This

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is caused by many factors which I will elaborate them and discuss the ways that can be done to reduce the problems.

Firstly

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, social

media

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is one of the biggest reasons.

For example

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, on social

media

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, people are able to comment on other people’s faces. The worst case would be criticising their facial structures.

This

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causes teenagers to be stressed and worried about how they look as they fear

to be

Change the verb form

being

show examples

judged by others. A research has been done in 2020 about how a person’s behaviour can be affected by social

media

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. It states that more than 50% of the people were influenced, evidencing that these platforms are likely to cause youngsters to be worried about their faces.

However

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this

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can be solved by taking a break from social

media

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. If children are able to focus on other things in life, they will not be affected and

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be less worried about their looks.

Secondly

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this

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might be caused by the strict

beauty

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standards posed by the community.

According to

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information from the

media

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, only people with tall nose bridges, double eyelids and small

face

Fix the agreement mistake

faces

show examples

are considered as ‘pretty’.

This

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has raised many concerns and caused them to be insecure about their physical appearance.

Nevertheless

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this

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can be improved if more education

are

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show examples

done on self-confidence.

For instance

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, promoting the

beauty

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of diverse facial features, breaking the

beauty

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standards that are suggested nowadays.

This

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would boost their confidence level

Change preposition

apply

show examples

decreasing their insecurities. In conclusion, social

media

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and

beauty

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standards are the major reasons for

this

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. But they can all be reduced by raising self-confidence and taking a rest from social

media

Use synonyms

cherrychan926Sat Aug 17 2024

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language

Try to use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to make the essay more engaging.

task response

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support the main points.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to link paragraphs more smoothly by using transitional phrases.

structure

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which neatly frames the discussion.

task response

You have addressed the task effectively by identifying main reasons and suggesting possible solutions.

support

The main points are supported with relevant examples and logical reasoning.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

unrealistic standards
peer pressure
social media influence
celebrity culture
narrow definition
body positivity
self-esteem
image manipulation
beauty products
media literacy
body image concerns
diverse qualities
appearance-focused
self-acceptance
aesthetic appeal
inclusive beauty
self-worth
cultural norms
marketing strategies
psychological impact

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Studies have shown that many young children worry about their appearance What are the reasons for this? What might best be done to reduce the problems?

Your opinion

It is a good idea to have large public spaces in towns and cities such as parks and squares. Do you agree or disagree? Why?

In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people like to travel outside their country. Others would rather travel to tourist spots in their own country first, before travelling abroad. Which do you prefer to do and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice.

Director and mangers are mostly older people. Some people believe young people will become better leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some say that music, art and drama are as important as school subjects, especially at the primary level. do you agree or disagree?