Studies have shown that many young children worry about their appearance What are the reasons for this? What might best be done to reduce the problems?
In today’s society, the majority of teenagers are concerned about their appearance.
This
is caused by many factors which I will elaborate them and discuss the ways that can be done to reduce the problems.
Firstly
, social media
is one of the biggest reasons. For example
, on social media
, people are able to comment on other people’s faces. The worst case would be criticising their facial structures. This
causes teenagers to be stressed and worried about how they look as they fear to be
judged by others. A research has been done in 2020 about how a person’s behaviour can be affected by social Change the verb form
being
media
. It states that more than 50% of the people were influenced, evidencing that these platforms are likely to cause youngsters to be worried about their faces. However
, this
can be solved by taking a break from social media
. If children are able to focus on other things in life, they will not be affected and would
be less worried about their looks.
Wrong verb form
will
Secondly
, this
might be caused by the strict beauty
standards posed by the community. According to
information from the media
, only people with tall nose bridges, double eyelids and small face
are considered as ‘pretty’. Fix the agreement mistake
faces
This
has raised many concerns and caused them to be insecure about their physical appearance. Nevertheless
, this
can be improved if more education are
done on self-confidence. Change the verb form
is
For instance
, promoting the beauty
of diverse facial features, breaking the beauty
standards that are suggested nowadays. This
would boost their confidence level so
decreasing their insecurities.
In conclusion, social Change preposition
apply
media
and beauty
standards are the major reasons for this
. But they can all be reduced by raising self-confidence and taking a rest from social media
.Submitted by cherrychan926 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
language
Try to use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to make the essay more engaging.
task response
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to link paragraphs more smoothly by using transitional phrases.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which neatly frames the discussion.
task response
You have addressed the task effectively by identifying main reasons and suggesting possible solutions.
support
The main points are supported with relevant examples and logical reasoning.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?