IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the teenager years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spide of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is undoubtedly true that teenage years are
great
Add an article
a great
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 source of happiness. Certain individuals opine that younger ages are
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 enjoyable period for most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others feel that professional
life
Use synonyms
 brings more happiness
though
Correct your spelling
through
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 having enough responsibility.
However
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, both of the perspectives will be narrated in the following paragraphs, and I will
be supporting
Wrong verb form
support
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 the former view. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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assert that young ages are the greatest time in
life
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 because of having less responsibility
as well as
Linking Words
 minimum work pressure.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is the time to enjoy freely and explore the things surrounding us. At the same time, teens have become more eager or energetic to learn new activities in several sectors with
providing
Verb problem
apply
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much effort.
For example
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, they can acquire various skills
in
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at
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 these ages, if we consider one skill which can be learning to drive cars.
On the other hand
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, adult
life
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 could be
more
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apply
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happier as one can earn enough money at
this
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 age to support his or her family and take
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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responsibility. Since, an individual's income gives the freedom
of living
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to live
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 lives
according to
Linking Words
 their own choices and
also
Linking Words
, provides
the
Correct article usage
apply
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purchasing power. Professional
life
Use synonyms
 creates more opportunities to cope
up
Change preposition
apply
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with different situations
along with
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 the jobs. That's why adult
people
Use synonyms
 have to think sometimes from various perspectives based on the circumstances.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can make their own choices when it comes to
take
Verb problem
making
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 decisions. In conclusion, it can be said that both of the groups have
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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strong
logics
Fix the agreement mistake
logic
show examples
 to support their sides. But ultimately I think, the younger period of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
's lives can be more convenient in terms of exploration or enjoyment.

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task achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Provide more specific examples and expand on your points to make them more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Increase the coherence and cohesion of your essay by using a greater variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
For a higher score, divide your reasoning more clearly. State each point separately and develop it fully with examples. This will help achieve a more logical structure.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion of both views and clearly states your own opinion.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points of the essay and restates your opinion effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, providing a balanced discussion.
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