The diamgram shows the life cycle of the honey bee.

#diamgram #life #cycle #honey #bee

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The diagram shows the

honey

bee life cycle.

Overall

this

cycle takes around 34 -36

days

from egg to

adult

honey

bee. It can be divided into 4 stages which are egg ,

Nymph

, young

adult

, and

adult

Nymph

Correct article usage

The nymph

show examples

will hatch its own egg and free itself during the first stage, After

Female

Correct article usage

the Female

show examples

lays eggs for 9-10

days

. And

then

Nymph

needed to moult 3 times

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when it is 5

days

, 7

days

, and 9

days

This

process will make

Nymph

grow up to be a young

adult

This

period is the shortest period, it only takes 4

days

for young

adult

honey

bees to become fully

adult

. In

this

stage, it

has

Verb problem

takes

show examples

approximately 16

days

to do the main task.

Adult

honey

bees focus on breeding. Every 3

days

1 female can lay 1 or 2 eggs which means it can lay eggs for a maximum of 10 during its life

Submitted by dondollaraus on Sat Aug 17 2024

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Overall Coherence & Cohesion

There should be a clearer distinction between your introduction and body paragraphs. Consider using phrases like 'In conclusion' or 'Overall' to wrap up your essay.

Logical Structure

Your essay could benefit from linking words or phrases to help show the relationship between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, you could use words like 'Moreover', 'Furthermore,' 'However,' to connect your ideas more smoothly.

Logical Structure

Make sure each stage of the honey bee life cycle is presented in a clear and logical order. Use chronological linking words such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly,' 'Finally' to guide the reader.

Complete Response

Although you cover the main stages, being a bit more specific about the transitions could make your response more complete. For instance, you could elaborate more on what happens during the molting periods.

Clear & Comprehensive Ideas

While your ideas are clear, they lack depth. Adding more detailed descriptions of each stage would show a more comprehensive understanding of the process.

Relevant Specific Examples

Include more specific examples to support your points, like the physical changes that occur as a nymph molts, to provide more context and clarity.

Supported Main Points

You did well to outline the main stages of the honey bee life cycle, following the structure of the diagram closely.

Supported Main Points

The use of approximate time frames (for example, 34-36 days for a complete cycle) adds clarity to your description.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

5.5

Logical structure

5.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

154 words

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The diamgram shows the life cycle of the honey bee.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Disagree

In some countries, private cars are now banned from certain city centres. What are the advantages of such a system and do you feel that this is something that most cities should adopt?

Immigration has a major impact on society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

Air transport is increasingly used to export fruit and vegetables to countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. What the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?