IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.
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This
Linking Words
 map shows the plan for the town of
Garldson
Use synonyms
 which has a
population
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 of 65,000 citizens and,a new
supermarket
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 S is planned and there are 2 possible sites for the
supermarket
Use synonyms
 as well. It is obvious that possible S2 location is located in the town centre which has no traffic zones and
this
Linking Words
 site is surrounded by a large space of industry.
Whereas
Linking Words
,S1 plans
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to be located in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 and near the main roads as well. S2 supermarkets may
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 only one type of traffic which is a railway,and below there is a housing
estates
Change the noun form
estate
show examples
 after crossing a small area of industry.Obviously, the location of the S2
supermarket
Use synonyms
 would be
setted
Correct your spelling
set
show examples
 closer for the majority of citizens in
Garldson
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 from S2 to 16 km to Brandson there are 15000
population
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 and
also
Linking Words
, from there to 25 km to Cransdon there are 29000
population
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 containing more than half of
Garldson
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population
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. S1
supermarket
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 may have 2 types of traffic which are main roads and railway as well.Naturally, there will be a small
population
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 nearby
due to
Linking Words
 its location in the countryside.To be precise, there will be only
10000
Correct article usage
a 10000
show examples
population
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the town of
Garldson
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 which is
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
 than
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of people surrounding the S2
supermarket
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words garldson, population, supermarket with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Congestion
  • Economic benefits
  • Environmental impact
  • Foot traffic
  • Green space
  • Job creation
  • Local property values
  • Parking availability
  • Pollution
  • Proximity
  • Public transportation
  • Sustainability
  • Traffic patterns
  • Residential areas
  • Shopping convenience
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