Some people believe in studying whatever they like whereas others think about studying what is needed for the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

In university,
students
are liable for their studies and their choices.
Therefore
, it is viable or essential for them to choose their
career
path
carefully.
Moreover
, there is a belief which advises those undergraduates to go for whichever suits their own preference. Yet, others restate that the importance of the future
career
will dictate the opportunity to be successful, leading to taking more mainstream courses
such
as science and technology. In
this
writing, the
freedom
of study is explored and discussed. There is no doubt that studying is the
straight-forward
Correct your spelling
straightforward
show examples
path
to pursue a successful
career
.
Therefore
, motivation and attitude toward learning are important factors in order for
students
to do well in lectures and get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
. They need to have deep
aspiration
Fix the agreement mistake
aspirations
show examples
in topics or courses to encourage themselves to research and complete their tasks satisfactorily. The excitement is shown by what undergraduates are actually passionate about. The more they love the subjects, the more time they will spend.
For instance
, many scientists and technologists are willing to devote most of their time to
conduct
Wrong verb form
conducting
show examples
more research since they are fascinated
in
Change preposition
by
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discovering new things.
Furthermore
, the question is raised as
whether
Change preposition
to whether
show examples
students
could thrive in their
career
path
in the long run or not if they studied what parents or the majority had believed was necessary for their future. In the end, passion is the key factor in achieving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
success.
Then
, it comes down to responsibility and happiness. The
freedom
of choice promotes the self-liability of one.
Students
must love their subjects for them to spend more time studying and practising. They are passionate about their choice and they could have planned out the regulation to finish the course. Meanwhile, the accomplishment of what they love to do will bring the greatest content of all. It is not only what they could have learned in class but
also
independence on the choice of others leads to self-acknowledgement of responsibility and independence. In fact, rights and duties are regulated by
freedom
. It means one can do whatever they want but in the end, the results are what they are responsible for. In summary,
freedom
of studying can make
students
focus more on the courses, bring success to their future careers and create a sense of self-responsibility.
While
this
statement may have some drawbacks,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
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having problems could promote a better
career
path
and the happiness to follow it until the end.
Submitted by vinu052t on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific fields of study beyond just 'science and technology.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and maintains focus on a single idea. This will help in maintaining a logical flow throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are strong, they could be slightly more engaging. Try to start with a hook or an interesting fact and conclude with a more definitive statement.
task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task and covers both perspectives effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, clearly presenting and summarizing your main points.
task achievement
You successfully highlight the importance of passion and responsibility in career choice, making your main ideas clear and comprehensive.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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