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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe in studying whatever they like whereas others think about studying what is needed for the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

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In university,
students
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 are liable for their studies and their choices.
Therefore
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, it is viable or essential for them to choose their
career
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path
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 carefully.
Moreover
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, there is a belief which advises those undergraduates to go for whichever suits their own preference. Yet, others restate that the importance of the future
career
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 will dictate the opportunity to be successful, leading to taking more mainstream courses
such
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 as science and technology. In
this
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 writing, the
freedom
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 of study is explored and discussed. There is no doubt that studying is the
straight-forward
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straightforward
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path
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 to pursue a successful
career
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.
Therefore
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, motivation and attitude toward learning are important factors in order for
students
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 to do well in lectures and get
a
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apply
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good
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
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. They need to have deep
aspiration
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aspirations
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 in topics or courses to encourage themselves to research and complete their tasks satisfactorily. The excitement is shown by what undergraduates are actually passionate about. The more they love the subjects, the more time they will spend.
For instance
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, many scientists and technologists are willing to devote most of their time to
conduct
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conducting
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 more research since they are fascinated
in
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by
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 discovering new things.
Furthermore
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, the question is raised as
whether
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to whether
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students
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 could thrive in their
career
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path
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 in the long run or not if they studied what parents or the majority had believed was necessary for their future. In the end, passion is the key factor in achieving
the
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apply
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long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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 success.
Then
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, it comes down to responsibility and happiness. The
freedom
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 of choice promotes the self-liability of one.
Students
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 must love their subjects for them to spend more time studying and practising. They are passionate about their choice and they could have planned out the regulation to finish the course. Meanwhile, the accomplishment of what they love to do will bring the greatest content of all. It is not only what they could have learned in class but
also
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 independence on the choice of others leads to self-acknowledgement of responsibility and independence. In fact, rights and duties are regulated by
freedom
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. It means one can do whatever they want but in the end, the results are what they are responsible for. In summary,
freedom
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 of studying can make
students
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 focus more on the courses, bring success to their future careers and create a sense of self-responsibility.
While
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this
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 statement may have some drawbacks,
yet
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apply
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having problems could promote a better
career
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path
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 and the happiness to follow it until the end.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific fields of study beyond just 'science and technology.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and maintains focus on a single idea. This will help in maintaining a logical flow throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are strong, they could be slightly more engaging. Try to start with a hook or an interesting fact and conclude with a more definitive statement.
task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task and covers both perspectives effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, clearly presenting and summarizing your main points.
task achievement
You successfully highlight the importance of passion and responsibility in career choice, making your main ideas clear and comprehensive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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