IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

5.Individuals can do nothing to change society. New developments can be only brought about by governments and large institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#individuals #change #society #developments #governments #institutions
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It is argued that only governments and big organizations can have an impact on the public
while
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individuals
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 cannot change
society
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. Personally, I completely disagree with the statement, and the reasons will be discussed in
this
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 essay. There is no doubt that large institutions and governments can change
society
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 positively, but that does not mean that
individuals
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 cannot. The new technology and innovative ideas raised by
individuals
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 are not negligible. To be specific, several cases
which
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in which
show examples
individuals
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 made great contributions to
society
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 have been witnessed.
For instance
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, the electric lamp invented by Edison has impacted people’s lives for hundreds of years. Another reason why I am against the given opinion is that
individuals
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 can influence public attitudes by expressing their views and comments.
That is
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 to say, people can show their viewpoints on social platforms easily.
For example
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, when some people see the news of killing animals, they might make a video about animal protection and post it on social media. Once the video is sent on the internet, it will spread widely in a short time and soon make more people aware of the importance of protecting animals.
Therefore
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, the actions have a positive impact on
society
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. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the statement that
individuals
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 are unable to affect
society
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 in a positive way.
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task achievement
Consider expanding on the points about individual contributions with more diverse examples, possibly including modern contexts or different fields such as social movements or digital innovation.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next with clear linkage, such as using phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'In contrast.' This will help to maintain the logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points to support your argument.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the invention of the electric lamp by Edison, effectively support your points and add concrete evidence to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow and understand the argument presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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