In some coutries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them.

The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
number of individuals are suffering from
the
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apply
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weight gain
issue
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issues
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that’s
Correct your spelling
that is
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why their
health’s
Change noun form
health
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grade is affected detrimentally . The main reason behind
this
is the increase of sedentary nature and preference
of
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for
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junk food.
However
, the solution would be
conduction
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the conduction
show examples
of sports education for younger and by raising awareness in
community
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the community
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. The primary cause of unfitness is the working behaviour of officers as
majority
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the majority
a majority
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of them have to work in front of their laptops
about
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for about
show examples
10 hours consecutively, which can damage their body shape and
consequences
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the consequences
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are obesity and diabetes.
Moreover
,
the
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a
show examples
number of
folk
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folks
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dislike the healthy diet plan, they favour spicy burgers rather than
home-made
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homemade
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, even though in their leisure time Millennials always have a weekend plan to visit a cafe or a restaurant.
Furthermore
, it can be
settle
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settled
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down
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apply
show examples
by learning the significance of exercise
on
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at
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school
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the school
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level. Teacher should assign some physical tasks with their compulsory homework,
such
activities would encourage them to live a happy life.
In addition
, public
campaign
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campaigns
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and poster
display
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displays
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could
also
minimize the rate of diseases.
For example
, leading research in America has shown that, in 2002, multinational companies introduced
gym
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gyms
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and concluded that 35
percent
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per cent
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workers
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of workers
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became habitual of that. In conclusion,
although
work
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working
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from home and seated-
habit
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habits
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are taking part in imperfect trimming
as well as
ready
meal
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meals
show examples
, the multiple seminars on education level and advertisements on social sites could reduce the risk of toxic indisposition, which would be beneficial for both teenagers and old ages.
Submitted by iqrariaz54 on

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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help to more smoothly guide the reader through your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure.
task achievement
You have identified relevant causes and potential solutions to the problem, which shows an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • fast food consumption
  • unhealthy food options
  • public awareness
  • balanced diet
  • regular exercise
  • urban planning
  • recreational facilities
  • health and fitness
  • weight gain
  • electronic devices
  • healthy lifestyle
  • gym memberships
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