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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
#information #police #budget #britain #money #show
The given pie charts and table illustrate the data about the amount of money that
used
Add a missing verb
was used
show examples
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
police
Add an article
the police
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 department and
also
 the sources between 2017 and 2018, in Britain.
Overall
,
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 tax area was
major
Add an article
a major
the major
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 contributor
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 providing services in 2018.
Additionally
,
budget
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the budget
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 was consumed only to enhance the utilities of technology. The list of security finance has
significant
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a significant
show examples
 rise in
the
Remove the article
apply
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all sessions. In 2017, the state
about
Add a missing verb
was about
show examples
 176
million
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was changed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
positive
Add an article
the positive
a positive
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 figure of 179
m
Correct your spelling
million
 in 2018.
Next,
it can be seen in the question that tariff took part in
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
a proportion
show examples
 of 91.2
million
 and
then
 it
grow
Change the verb form
grows
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 more 21
million
 rupees , which shown 102.3m in the latter year. Other source and total divisions have
also
 imparted cash that
recorded
Add a missing verb
was recorded
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 as 38,.5
million
 and 318.6
m
Correct your spelling
million
 in 2018, respectively.
On the other hand
, the percentage in
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
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 area was constant, it was 17% over the whole expenditures.
Whereas
, the remuneration
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 6% in 2018, which was 75% in
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
 time.
In
Rephrase
Lastly
show examples
last
, the
computer-base
Correct your spelling
computer-based
show examples
 system found only interesting assistance, it went up slightly less double that was only 8% in 2017.
Submitted by iqrariaz54 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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