These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? #fathers #home #care

Nowadays, many husbands
looking
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look
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out
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after
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their kids
while
the
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their
show examples
wifes
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wives
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are working . There are several
reason
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reasons
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contributing to
this
matter,
as well as
I believe
this
is a positive trend.
To begin
with, in the past, the wage gap between
two
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the two
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genders led to men being the primary breadwinners.
However
,
the
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apply
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modern lifestyles have triggered a shift in the economic dynamics in societies.
For example
, many
women
today have obtained a higher education and
securing
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secured
show examples
well-paying jobs.
As a result
, more mothers go out to work
whereas
the fathers will stay at home,
nuturing
Correct your spelling
nurturing
their children.
Furthermore
, every household
have
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has
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
own personal choices and individual skills. If a father has a better skill in terms of care compared to the mother
then
it is their decision to make for the better outcomes. Regarding
this
trend, there are some upsides that need to be considered.
Firstly
, as a father, he can improve their relationship with their offspring.
For instance
,
this
provides an opportunity for deepening the father-child bonding, which is beneficial for the youngster's emotional and social development, especially with a male role model.
Next,
looking at
women
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women's
show examples
perspective. Traditionally, females were
the
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in the
show examples
primary caregiving role and
does
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did
show examples
not have the same freedom as
the
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apply
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males
does
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apply
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.
However
, these days
women
's
right
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rights
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have
been
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apply
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evolved, they can
persuade
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pursue
show examples
their
dream
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dreams
show examples
and professionals equally without being
labeled
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labelled
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.
Consequently
, reducing a gap
gender
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in gender
show examples
career and
increase
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increasing
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talents
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talent
show examples
in the nations. In conclusion, personal choices and shifting economic dynamics lead to a positive development within families, considering
that
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apply
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a
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apply
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father-child bonding and
women
's freedom to follow their
dream
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dreams
show examples
.
Therefore
, I believe that it is a positive trend, and all genders should have equal options to choose what is right for them.
Submitted by tifjong on

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general
While your essay addresses the task well, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be improved for clarity. For example, 'wifes' should be 'wives', 'nuturing' should be 'nurturing', and 'persuade' should be 'pursue'.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and good flow of ideas, but work on connecting some sentences more smoothly. For instance, use transitional phrases to link ideas more coherently.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-constructed, clearly presenting your stance on the issue.
clear comprehensive ideas
You provided clear and comprehensive ideas about why more fathers are staying at home and why this is a positive development.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • breadwinner
  • caregiving
  • paternal leave
  • societal perceptions
  • gender roles
  • flexible working conditions
  • personal preference
  • father-child relationship
  • emotional and social development
  • household responsibilities
  • career opportunities
  • professional achievements
  • balanced parenting
  • earning potential
  • social stigma
  • societal pressure
  • discrimination
  • traditional mindsets
  • resentment
  • adjustment
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