These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? #fathers #home #care

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Nowadays, many husbands

looking

Wrong verb form

look

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out

Change preposition

after

show examples

their kids

while

Linking Words

the

Change the word

their

show examples

wifes

Correct your spelling

wives

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are working . There are several

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

contributing to

this

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matter,

as well as

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I believe

this

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is a positive trend.

To begin

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with, in the past, the wage gap between

two

Correct article usage

the two

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genders led to men being the primary breadwinners.

However

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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modern lifestyles have triggered a shift in the economic dynamics in societies.

For example

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, many

women

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today have obtained a higher education and

securing

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secured

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well-paying jobs.

As a result

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, more mothers go out to work

whereas

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the fathers will stay at home,

nuturing

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nurturing

their children.

Furthermore

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, every household

have

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has

show examples

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

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own personal choices and individual skills. If a father has a better skill in terms of care compared to the mother

then

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it is their decision to make for the better outcomes. Regarding

this

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trend, there are some upsides that need to be considered.

Firstly

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, as a father, he can improve their relationship with their offspring.

For instance

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this

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provides an opportunity for deepening the father-child bonding, which is beneficial for the youngster's emotional and social development, especially with a male role model.

Next,

Linking Words

looking at

Use synonyms

women

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women's

show examples

perspective. Traditionally, females were

the

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in the

show examples

primary caregiving role and

does

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did

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not have the same freedom as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

males

does

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

However

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, these days

women

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right

Fix the agreement mistake

rights

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have

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

evolved, they can

persuade

Verb problem

pursue

show examples

their

dream

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dreams

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and professionals equally without being

labeled

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labelled

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Consequently

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, reducing a gap

gender

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in gender

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career and

increase

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increasing

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talents

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talent

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in the nations. In conclusion, personal choices and shifting economic dynamics lead to a positive development within families, considering

that

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apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

father-child bonding and

women

Use synonyms

's freedom to follow their

dream

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dreams

show examples

Therefore

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, I believe that it is a positive trend, and all genders should have equal options to choose what is right for them.

tifjongSat Aug 17 2024

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general

While your essay addresses the task well, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be improved for clarity. For example, 'wifes' should be 'wives', 'nuturing' should be 'nurturing', and 'persuade' should be 'pursue'.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure and good flow of ideas, but work on connecting some sentences more smoothly. For instance, use transitional phrases to link ideas more coherently.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are well-constructed, clearly presenting your stance on the issue.

clear comprehensive ideas

You provided clear and comprehensive ideas about why more fathers are staying at home and why this is a positive development.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

breadwinner
caregiving
paternal leave
societal perceptions
gender roles
flexible working conditions
personal preference
father-child relationship
emotional and social development
household responsibilities
career opportunities
professional achievements
balanced parenting
earning potential
social stigma
societal pressure
discrimination
traditional mindsets
resentment
adjustment

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These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? #fathers #home #care

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. what problems does this shortage case? what measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economis development,but many important social values can be lost as a result . Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.