These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? #fathers #home #care
Nowadays, many husbands
looking
Wrong verb form
look
out
their kids Change preposition
after
while
the
Change the word
their
wifes
are working . There are several Correct your spelling
wives
reason
contributing to Change to a plural noun
reasons
this
matter, as well as
I believe this
is a positive trend.
To begin
with, in the past, the wage gap between two
genders led to men being the primary breadwinners. Correct article usage
the two
However
, the
modern lifestyles have triggered a shift in the economic dynamics in societies. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, many women
today have obtained a higher education and securing
well-paying jobs. Wrong verb form
secured
As a result
, more mothers go out to work whereas
the fathers will stay at home, nuturing
their children. Correct your spelling
nurturing
Furthermore
, every household have
Change the verb form
has
their
own personal choices and individual skills. If a father has a better skill in terms of care compared to the mother Correct pronoun usage
its
then
it is their decision to make for the better outcomes.
Regarding this
trend, there are some upsides that need to be considered. Firstly
, as a father, he can improve their relationship with their offspring. For instance
, this
provides an opportunity for deepening the father-child bonding, which is beneficial for the youngster's emotional and social development, especially with a male role model. Next,
looking at women
perspective. Traditionally, females were Change noun form
women's
the
primary caregiving role and Change preposition
in the
does
not have the same freedom as Wrong verb form
did
the
malesCorrect article usage
apply
does
. Unnecessary verb
apply
However
, these days women
's right
have Fix the agreement mistake
rights
been
evolved, they can Unnecessary verb
apply
persuade
their Verb problem
pursue
dream
and professionals equally without being Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
labeled
. Change the spelling
labelled
Consequently
, reducing a gap gender
career and Change preposition
in gender
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
talents
in the nations.
In conclusion, personal choices and shifting economic dynamics lead to a positive development within families, considering Fix the agreement mistake
talent
that
Correct word choice
apply
a
father-child bonding and Correct article usage
apply
women
's freedom to follow their dream
. Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
Therefore
, I believe that it is a positive trend, and all genders should have equal options to choose what is right for them.Submitted by tifjong on
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general
While your essay addresses the task well, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be improved for clarity. For example, 'wifes' should be 'wives', 'nuturing' should be 'nurturing', and 'persuade' should be 'pursue'.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and good flow of ideas, but work on connecting some sentences more smoothly. For instance, use transitional phrases to link ideas more coherently.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-constructed, clearly presenting your stance on the issue.
clear comprehensive ideas
You provided clear and comprehensive ideas about why more fathers are staying at home and why this is a positive development.