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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to travel in their own country when they have some time off. Others think that it is better to take a trip to a foreign country. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your choice.

#people #travel #country #time #trip #support #choice
SOME GROUPS OF INDIVIDUALS ARE
FAN
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FANS
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 OF TRAVELLING IN THEIR OWN
COUNTRY
 , MEANWHILE THE REST OF THE PEOPLE PREFER VISITING OTHER COUNTRIES. EVEN THOUGH HAVING A TRIP
IN
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TO
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Correct pronoun usage
THEIR
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OWN
COUTRY
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COUNTRY
 IS LIKELY TO PROVIDE HUMANKIND WITH MORE AWARENESS ABOUT IT , I RECKON THAT VISITING
FOREIGN
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A FOREIGN
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COUNTRY
 MAY BENEFIT PEOPLE TO ENJOY
WITH
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apply
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NEW
EXPERIANCES
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EXPERIENCES
EXPERIENCE
. HAVING A TRIP IN
COUNTRY
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THE COUNTRY
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 THAT WAS BORN CAN ENHANCE
KNOWLEDGE
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THE KNOWLEDGE
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 OF DWELLERS ABOUT IT. ON THE GROUNDS THAT BY VIRTUE OF
THIS
 WAY RESIDENTS MIGHT OBTAIN AND RECOGNISE NEW
DATAS
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DATA
 ABOUT THEIR
TRADIDTION
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TRADITION
TRADITIONS
 AND NATION.
FOR INSTANCE
,
ORGANIZATION
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AN ORGANIZATION
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 CALLED ''TAUMEN'' IN KAZAKHSTAN
IS
Wrong verb form
WAS
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 ESTABLISHED FOR THE SAKE OF RESIDENTS TO PROVIDE THEM WITH A GREAT NUMBER OF TRIPS ENABLING SCRUTINIZE ABOUT ANTIQUE PLACES OF KAZAKHSTAN.
NONETHELESS
, I SUPPORT HAVING A HOLIDAY IN FOREIGN
COUTRIES
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COUNTRIES
 AS IT IS LIKELY TO GIVE EXCEPTIONAL
EXPERIANCES
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EXPERIENCES
EXPERIENCE
. TRAVELLING IN THE COUNTRIES WITH THE EXCEPTION OF OWN
COUNTRY
 IS THE BEST WAY TO FEEL OTHER ATMOSPHERE AND RELAX. THERE
ARE
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IS
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 MAJORITY OF ADVANTAGES VISITING FOREIGN
COUTRIES
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COUNTRIES
 WITH THE FEELING OF UNKNOWN ENVIRONMENT IS BEING THE BEST ONE. SINCE VISITORS CAN TRY NEW ONES OR
EXPERIANCE
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EXPERIENCE
 THOSE THINGS THAT NEVER HAVE
EXPERIANCED
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EXPERIENCED
WHICH MAY PROVIDE
WITH
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THEM WITH
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 THE BEST FEELING OF
RELAXING
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RELAXATION
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. SEVERAL KINDS OF FIELDS ALLOWING THEIR EMPLOYMENTS TO HAVE NO CHARGE VACATION MIGHT SERVE AS A PRIME EXAMPLE. OWING TO PROVIDING THEM WITH
SUCH
 OPPORTUNITIES THEY GET ENERGIZED ,
MOREOVER
, ENCOURAGED WORKERS AFTER
SUCH
 HOLIDAYS TO AMELIORATE THE QUALITY OF LABOUR. IN CONCLUSION,
ALTHOUGH
 HAVING A TRIP IN OWN
COUNTRY
 IS LIKELY TO ALLOW TO RAISE THE AWARENESS OF THEIR RESIDENTS, I AGREE THAT BEING IN OTHER SPACES COULD BENEFIT INDIVIDUALS WITH PERFECT FEELINGS.
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coherence cohesion
Improve logical transitions between paragraphs to ensure the essay flows more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive phrases, and consider varying your sentence structure to maintain reader engagement.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point that is both well defined and thoroughly supported with examples and explanations.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and proper sentence structure to enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and articulate your main point effectively.
task achievement
You address the prompt clearly and provide reasons for your preference with relevant examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • local cuisine
  • domestic travel
  • cultural immersion
  • cost-effective
  • short-haul travel
  • travel logistics
  • foreign cultures
  • international itinerary
  • global perspective
  • language barrier
  • cross-cultural exchange
  • bucket-list destination
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