Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relewant examples from your own knowledge or experience.)

#people #life #money #answers #relewant

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Undoubtedly,

money

plays a vital role in everyone's

life

and can make

people

joyful. Some sections of folks believe that having a plethora of

money

can make them lucky in many ways.

This

essay will discuss the reasons behind the above-mentioned statement

along with

explanation

Add an article

an explanation

show examples

of other things, which can make

people

happy in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with, not only folks can experience financial security with a lot of

money

but

also

they have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

financial freedom.

Due to

this

, individuals do not have to worry about their expenses because they can

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their basic needs with funds.

Therefore

people

can live a

stress free

Add a hyphen

stress-free

show examples

life

because they do not have to ask someone for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cash during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

critical situations.

Moreover

, folks have

Correct article usage

the

show examples

ability to pursue hobbies and interests with the support of wealth because they can do whatever they want.

For example

, if

person

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

to become a piolet

then

a person needs a lot

Change preposition

show examples

money

to achieve their goals.

This

can

possible

Add a missing verb

be possible

show examples

with the advantage of having an immense amount of cash.

Besides

, long-lasting healthy relationships and connections with

love

Change the form of the verb

loved

show examples

one's can make

people

joyful because they can spend their

percious

Correct your spelling

precious

time together and make

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

wonderful memories.

For instance

, having

Change the article

show examples

amazing husband can

makes

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

his wife

more happy

Replace the words

happier

show examples

in any situation because they

are sharing

Wrong verb form

show examples

a pure loving bond.

Last

but not least, personal growth and self-improvement is

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another factor, which can be lucrative for experiencing joy. Owing to

this

, whenever

people

feel

their

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are becoming more mature and achieving their goals

then

they can experience thrill and excitement.

To conclude

, financial security and

ability

Correct article usage

the ability

show examples

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

dreams can make

people

happy and

this

is possible with a lot of

money

for a fruitful

life

Also

, improving personal growth and healthy relationships are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

important things in everyone's

life

for experiencing thrill and excitement.

Submitted by kulvir1910 on Sat Aug 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on developing and connecting each idea more clearly. Some sentences seem repetitive or redundant.

task achievement

Ensure that any examples provided directly support and enhance the points made. The example of becoming a pilot could be more clearly connected to the idea being discussed.

coherence cohesion

You have provided a thesis statement in the introduction that outlines what the essay will cover. This gives a clear direction to your readers.

task achievement

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: how money can make people happy and what other factors contribute to happiness.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Wealth
Prosperity
Affluence
Financial security
Financial freedom
Well-being
Quality of life
Hobbies and interests
Travel and exploration
Achievement
Success
Generosity
Compassion
Empathy
Supportive relationships
Personal development

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relewant examples from your own knowledge or experience.)

Your opinion

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children.) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of older people. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. what are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?