Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relewant examples from your own knowledge or experience.)

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Undoubtedly,

money

Use synonyms

plays a vital role in everyone's

life

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and can make

people

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joyful. Some sections of folks believe that having a plethora of

money

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can make them lucky in many ways.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the reasons behind the above-mentioned statement

along with

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explanation

Add an article

an explanation

show examples

of other things, which can make

people

Use synonyms

happy in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

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with, not only folks can experience financial security with a lot of

money

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but

also

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they have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

financial freedom.

Due to

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this

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, individuals do not have to worry about their expenses because they can

fulfill

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fulfil

show examples

their basic needs with funds.

Therefore

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people

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can live a

stress free

Add a hyphen

stress-free

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life

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because they do not have to ask someone for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cash during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

critical situations.

Moreover

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, folks have

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the

show examples

ability to pursue hobbies and interests with the support of wealth because they can do whatever they want.

For example

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, if

person

Add an article

a person

the person

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want

Change the verb form

wants

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to become a piolet

then

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a person needs a lot

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show examples

money

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to achieve their goals.

This

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can

possible

Add a missing verb

be possible

show examples

with the advantage of having an immense amount of cash.

Besides

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, long-lasting healthy relationships and connections with

love

Change the form of the verb

loved

show examples

one's can make

people

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joyful because they can spend their

percious

Correct your spelling

precious

time together and make

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

wonderful memories.

For instance

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, having

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show examples

amazing husband can

makes

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

his wife

more happy

Replace the words

happier

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in any situation because they

are sharing

Wrong verb form

show examples

a pure loving bond.

Last

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but not least, personal growth and self-improvement is

the

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apply

show examples

another factor, which can be lucrative for experiencing joy. Owing to

this

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, whenever

people

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feel

their

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are becoming more mature and achieving their goals

then

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they can experience thrill and excitement.

To conclude

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, financial security and

ability

Correct article usage

the ability

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fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

the

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apply

show examples

dreams can make

people

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happy and

this

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is possible with a lot of

money

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for a fruitful

life

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Also

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, improving personal growth and healthy relationships are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

important things in everyone's

life

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for experiencing thrill and excitement.

kulvir1910Sat Aug 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on developing and connecting each idea more clearly. Some sentences seem repetitive or redundant.

task achievement

Ensure that any examples provided directly support and enhance the points made. The example of becoming a pilot could be more clearly connected to the idea being discussed.

coherence cohesion

You have provided a thesis statement in the introduction that outlines what the essay will cover. This gives a clear direction to your readers.

task achievement

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: how money can make people happy and what other factors contribute to happiness.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Wealth
Prosperity
Affluence
Financial security
Financial freedom
Well-being
Quality of life
Hobbies and interests
Travel and exploration
Achievement
Success
Generosity
Compassion
Empathy
Supportive relationships
Personal development

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relewant examples from your own knowledge or experience.)

Your opinion

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall.

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. Dinosaurs, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree? [989]

It is a natural process that animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spend on other things. Discuss both views and your own opinion.

It is better for the students to live away from the home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?