You have bought a new camera but when you got it home some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. • Introduce yourself • Explain the situation • Say what you would like the company to take
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with my new
camera
.
I am Iymon who is one of your regular customers. Summer
days, I often Change preposition
On summer
hanging
out with my friends in Change the form of the verb
hang
the
beautiful places. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
; two weeks ago we were
went to the mountain and Unnecessary verb
apply
this
time we have
Wrong verb form
had
necessary
new digital Add an article
a necessary
camera
. Therefore
, one of my friend
; recommended your store because there are a lot of choices and that’s Fix the agreement mistake
friends
way
, I purchased from your mall. When I got home Correct your spelling
why
this
camera
completely worked.
However
, I found malfunction
. Correct article usage
a malfunction
Firstly
, this
camera
does not switch on with the burning on the way camera
is very gross. Add an article
the camera
a camera
In addition
, it was not extra facilitation. I purchased for very expensive. Although
I told your representative, my digital camera
has still not been repaired.
Therefore
, I want to refund all money or fixed
Wrong verb form
fix
this
camera
. To resolve the problems, I would appreciate it if you could.
I look forward to your reply and a resolution to my problem.
Yours faithfully,
Xamidov IymonjonSubmitted by omondavlat91 on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas. For instance, after introducing yourself, smoothly transition into explaining the camera's issue before mentioning your outing with friends.
task achievement
Minor grammatical errors are present, like 'burning on the way camera is very gross' which should be 'the button on the camera is very gross.' Proofread for better accuracy.
task achievement
You have covered all key points: introducing yourself, explaining the situation, and specifying what action you want the company to take.
coherence cohesion
The closing of the letter is well-done; it is polite and formal.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite