You have bought a new camera but when you got it home some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. • Introduce yourself • Explain the situation • Say what you would like the company to take

#camera #home #company #representative #week #situation

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with my new

camera

. I am Iymon who is one of your regular customers.

Summer

Change preposition

On summer

show examples

days, I often

hanging

Change the form of the verb

hang

show examples

out with my friends in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

beautiful places.

For instance

; two weeks ago we

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

went to the mountain and

this

time we

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

necessary

Add an article

a necessary

show examples

new digital

camera

Therefore

, one of my

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

; recommended your store because there are a lot of choices and that’s

way

Correct your spelling

why

show examples

, I purchased from your mall. When I got home

this

camera

completely worked.

However

, I found

malfunction

Correct article usage

a malfunction

show examples

Firstly

this

camera

does not switch on with the burning on the way

camera

Add an article

the camera

a camera

show examples

is very gross.

In addition

, it was not extra facilitation. I purchased for very expensive.

Although

I told your representative, my digital

camera

has still not been repaired.

Therefore

, I want to refund all money or

fixed

Wrong verb form

fix

show examples

this

camera

. To resolve the problems, I would appreciate it if you could. I look forward to your reply and a resolution to my problem. Yours faithfully, Xamidov Iymonjon

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Sun Aug 18 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow of ideas. For instance, after introducing yourself, smoothly transition into explaining the camera's issue before mentioning your outing with friends.

task achievement

Minor grammatical errors are present, like 'burning on the way camera is very gross' which should be 'the button on the camera is very gross.' Proofread for better accuracy.

task achievement

You have covered all key points: introducing yourself, explaining the situation, and specifying what action you want the company to take.

coherence cohesion

The closing of the letter is well-done; it is polite and formal.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

173 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

Electronic devices play a significant role in improving healthcare and education by providing access to valuable information, facilitating communication, and enhancing learning experiences. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

165.Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+