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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts compare the number of people per household* in the UK in 1981 and 2001.

The charts compare the number of people per household* in the UK in 1981 and 2001.
#people #household* #uk
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The provided chart gives information on the exact number of
individuals
Use synonyms
 per family in the UK in two different years, namely 1981 and 2001,
apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 average household contains from one to six
personas
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen, that the vast majority of
households
Use synonyms
 in the UK in both years consisted of one or two
individuals
Use synonyms
. With regards to 1981, 31
families
Use synonyms
 consisted of 2
personas
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 17
households
Use synonyms
 included 1-
individuals
Use synonyms
 only.
However
Linking Words
,
families
Use synonyms
 in the UK which consisted of 3 or 4
individuals
Use synonyms
 remained relatively stable with 18 and 20.
Additionally
Linking Words
, 8
households
Use synonyms
 were extended with 5
personas
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 6
families
Use synonyms
 consisted of 6
personas
Use synonyms
 and were huge
families
Use synonyms
 in comparison with others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2001 the number of
families
Use synonyms
 with 1 and 2
personas
Use synonyms
 enhanced significantly to 26 and 34 respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, over the period of 20 years, the
households
Use synonyms
 with 3
personas
Use synonyms
 face an upward tendency and decline to 17. In 2001,
due to
Linking Words
 some circumstances, the number of
individuals
Use synonyms
 hit the
bottommost
Correct word choice
bottom
show examples
 point of 6, which included 6
personas
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words individuals, personas, households, families with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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