IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph shows the number of people who visited three museums between 2000 and 2005. summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

the graph shows the number of people who visited three museums between 2000 and 2005. summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
#people #three #museums #summerize #information #features #comparison
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The graph shows the number of people who visited three museums in three difficult countries over a six-year period.
Overall
Linking Words
 , the greatest number of visits were for MET and National in 2005 ,
while
Linking Words
 for Endo it happened in 2000 and 2001 collectively. As we can see from the table , Endo was not as successful as MET and National in attracting
visitors
Use synonyms
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2000 to 2005 . in 2000 the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 at MET
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 12
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 for three
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 it halved in
museum
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it started
increased
Change the verb form
to increase
show examples
 significantly and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
 year it had the most
visitors
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 period. Among all
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
,
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 was the most successful
museum
Use synonyms
 in attracting people
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 6 years , which started with 6
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2000 and step by step ended up with more than 15
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
. Endo had the most
visitors
Use synonyms
 among the others in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 two years , but it lost the game to other museums and inn
last
Linking Words
 year was in the
last
Linking Words
 position in comparison with others.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, museum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • decline
  • rise
  • fall
  • steady
  • trend
  • peak
  • reach a high/low point
  • increase/decrease
  • similar/different pattern
  • the number of visitors
  • museum names (e.g., Art Museum, History Museum, Science Museum)
  • time frame (e.g., in 2000, by 2005)
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