IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportions of the world's oil resources held in differentareas, together with the proportions consumed annually in the same areas. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the proportions of the world's oil resources held in differentareas, together with the proportions consumed annually in the same areas. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,make comparisons where relevant.
#show #proportions #world #oil #resources #differentareas #areas #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart illustrates the percentages of the globe's grease and the
anual
Correct your spelling
annual
 consumption of grease in 10 different
countries
.
Overall
,
although
 Middle
East
Replace the word
Eastern
show examples
 country has a higher proportion of renewable energy than others, the number of
anually
Correct your spelling
annual
 usage is lower
whereas
 in Asia, the utilization of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oil
 is much greater than the
resources
. As for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia and New
Zealand
Add a comma
Zealand,
show examples
 both have the least
oil
resources
 out of ten
countries
. Looking at the top four biggest
oil
 holders, the Middle East held the
larger
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
 amount of
oil
 which is 56.52% but less than one in ten of energy used.
Next,
Canada fell a close second with 14.84% of total
resources
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Central and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South America placed in
third,
8.12%. The fourth place
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Africa with 6.38%. All of the mentioned
countries
 have spent less than the total
oil
 assets.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Asia(26.12%), the United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
(25.48%), and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
western Europe(19.24%), three of these
countries
 have
overuse
Wrong verb form
overused
show examples
 approximately
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a fifth
than
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the original total
oil
.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Asia has the most significant intake rather
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the others
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 two.
Similarly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New Zealand both were using up more than
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
hold
Wrong verb form
held
show examples
.
However
, it stood at the least
resources
 compared to all ten nations.
Submitted by tifjong on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, oil, resources with synonyms.
▼

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