IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You would like to work for a company or organisation in a foreign country. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: • Describe the kind of job you would like to do • Explain which country or part of the world you would like to work in • Tell them why you are interested in working in another country

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to enquire about employment opportunities abroad and would appreciate your assistance in finding a suitable position. I am interested in working as a supervisor or customer service representative in the hospitality or food service industry. I have four years of experience managing staff, ensuring customer satisfaction, and handling daily operations in a busy restaurant. I believe my communication, leadership, and problem-solving skills would make me a valuable employee. I would particularly like to work in Canada, especially in cities
such
Linking Words
 as Toronto or Vancouver. These places are well known for their multicultural environment and excellent employment opportunities. I would
also
Linking Words
 be open to considering other English-speaking countries if suitable positions are available. The main reason I wish to work overseas is to gain international work experience and develop my professional skills in a global environment.
In addition
Linking Words
, I would like to experience a different culture, meet people from diverse backgrounds, and improve my career prospects.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I believe working in another country would help me become more independent and broaden my perspective. I would be grateful if you could inform me about any suitable vacancies and the application process. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Vishally Bhardwaj

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task response
To reach a higher score, add one or two more facts, such as the type of hotel or restaurant you want to work in, or when you can start.
task response
You could say why Canada is good for your own job, not only that it has work and many kinds of people.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences could be made shorter. This will make your letter even easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Try not to use too many linking words in one short part. Use them only where they help the reader.
task response
You answer all three parts: the job, the country, and why you want to work abroad.
task response
Your letter is clear, polite, and has enough detail about your work.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are in a good order, with one main idea in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “In addition” and “Moreover”.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and ending are right for a formal letter.
Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment agency
  • abroad
  • specific role
  • industry
  • qualifications
  • experience
  • cultural exposure
  • economic reasons
  • professional growth
  • career opportunities
  • reiterate
  • guidance
  • job search
  • motivation
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