IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
Many
people
 argue, that professionals should stay in the country from where they completed their studies.
On the other hand
, numerous
people
 say that there should be no limits, on the
people
 who want to migrate for the sake of their duties. In my point of view,
people
 should work in the country where they live.
Moreover
, they should complete their tasks with high determination for the betterment of society.
However
, I will provide relevant arguments related to my claim in a given paragraph. To commence with, Many individuals argue that there should be no pressure on them, related to their objectives. Different
people
 have different aims and they choose different lifestyles
according to
 their choices.
For instance
, 60 per cent of graduated
people
 from Pakistan seek jobs outside their homeland.
Furthermore
, they feel,
outside
Correct word choice
that outside
show examples
 Pakistan, they have more opportunities and they can live without hurdles in a peaceful manner.
On the other hand
, many
people
 think that professionals should not leave their country. They should play a vital role in the objectives of social development.
For example
, In America, the core
people
 who play a role in success are their graduates and their own scholars. Through
this
 process, society can achieve success rapidly.
To sum up
, Every person should choose their own ways and there shouldn't be any limits on the life of
people
. Everybody should feel free to work hard for their objectives in life.
Submitted by mifzalrizwan2 on

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task achievement
Make sure to have a clear introduction with a thesis statement outlining your position and main points you will cover.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and stick to one main argument per paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument and make your essay flow more naturally.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will help make your points more convincing.
task achievement
The argument touches on both sides of the issue, demonstrating an understanding of different perspectives.
task achievement
Provides examples related to the discussed issue, such as the case of Pakistan and America.
coherence cohesion
Includes a conclusion that summarizes the main points and provides a final opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
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