Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.

Certain individuals opine that
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
are being affected by playing
games
on
computer
Add an article
the computer
show examples
on their health and social activities
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
others think that it can play some major role in
children
's lives.
However
, both of the perspectives will be narrated in the following paragraphs, and I will support the latter view. On the one hand, several drawbacks of
computer
games
have been found for which it could be detrimental for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
to play for longer hours.
To begin
with,
children
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
affected
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
serious
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
diseases because of continuous sitting in front of
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
withouth
Correct your spelling
without
getting a break.
This
can
also
be responsible for
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
mental
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
major issues are involved in virtual
games
as well.
As a consequence
, they could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lag behind from the goal or perspective of life. If we consider one example
that is
in the UK, online
games
are frequently played and that's why they are far away from social activities.
On the other hand
, playing
computer
games
would be beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
from different perspectives. Because of
this
, they would be able to gain more
computer
as well as
soft-skills
Correct your spelling
soft skills
show examples
. It is more convenient to play online
games
when it comes to getting rid of the tiredness.
For
this
reason, the outcome of virtual
games
is actually effective in
this
case.
For instance
,
computer
games
are assistive to increase the keyboard typing speed. In conclusion, it can be said that both of the viewpoints have
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
strong
logics
Fix the agreement mistake
logic
show examples
to support their sites. Ultimately, I would say that playing
computer
games
is more crucial in some sort of cases.
Submitted by mahamudzisan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to use more specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention particular research studies or statistics to bolster your claims.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. This can be achieved by using appropriate transitional words and phrases.
language accurancy
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid common errors such as improper use of tenses and subject-verb agreement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion.
task achievement
You make an effort to present and support both viewpoints before stating your own opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • physical health
  • obesity
  • eye strain
  • repetitive strain injuries
  • social skills
  • virtual worlds
  • face-to-face interactions
  • cognitive skills
  • problem-solving
  • strategic thinking
  • hand-eye coordination
  • educational tools
  • engaging
  • multiplayer
  • online gaming communities
  • relieve stress
  • entertainment
  • moderation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: