IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

he maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.

he maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
#maps #show #changes #place #queen #mary #construction
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the diagrams illustrate the changes that have taken
place
Use synonyms
 at
Queen
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Mary
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 Hospital since its construction in 1960. In 1960,
Queen
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Mary
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 Hospital had just
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
four
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place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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: Shopping
Centre
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, Hospital, Farmland, Car park and main road, all these buildings
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 the same in size,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
 all
take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 up a lot of
space
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, but during the next 20-40 years (1980-2000) the
place
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 at
Queen
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Mary
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 experienced of dramatic changes. The most noticeable in 1980 is that new buildings
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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appeared by removing the shopping
centre
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,
such
Linking Words
 as
: Cancer
Correct your spelling
a cancer
centre
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, Pharmacy next to
Hospital
Correct article usage
a Hospital
show examples
,
Nursing
Correct word choice
and Nursing
show examples
 School. Cancer
centre
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 takes up the smallest part of the
space
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 in 2000 it
takes
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 up the biggest part of the
space
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.
although
Linking Words
 the pharmacy
also
Linking Words
 occupies
in
Change preposition
apply
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a small part of the
place
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, it is in the hospital.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Nursing
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
show examples
 and Car
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 take up a lot of
space
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 in comparison with 2000
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they occupy
on the contrary
Linking Words
 very little
space
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, a comparison of the two maps reveals a change of location in
Queen
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Mary
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 Hospital from significant small to striking large with the necessary additional buildings
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words place, queen, mary, centre, space with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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