Nowadays, people are living an increasingly longer life and in many countries there are more old people than young people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Today, most
people
are living and growing longer
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
and in most nations there are more old
people
than grown-up
people
. There are
two
drawbacks which are
overpopulation
and increasing burden on family
members
.
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is beneficial to help family
members
and
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
learn experiences from older
people
. The
two
negatives are
behind
Change preposition
that
show examples
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
more living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
longer than the youth. The first is enhanced the
overpopulation
in the world. which means those
people
living and died not balanced,
in other words
,
although
the government has made regulations to reduce
overpopulation
, most countries not have overcome it.
As a result
, many problems are social,
such
as unemployment and criminalization. The second one, linked to the
first,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a burden on the family
members
, since they must
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
take care of older
people
,
for example
, eating, drinking and controlling their health.
As a result
, young
people
are busy they have not time to be aware of their parents who are old. There are positive are behind
this
, the benefit is helping families. which means the ageing population can support the economy because they have a lot of money. After, they had worked for a long time and some golden agers had been business.
Therefore
, they can support young
people
in making new businesses and living costs. The second benefit, linked to the
first,
is getting experience from elders. since it
needs for
Verb problem
is
show examples
their life to find new jobs or if they want to make new businesses where the ageing community can be the instructors to guide the business
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
young
people
want to make.
Consequently
, they will be successful in their career in future.
To sum up
,
two
drawbacks to older
people
living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, it is not only affecting
overpopulation
, but it
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
a burden on family
members
. Meanwhile,
two
positive ways are helping family
members
and they get
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
show examples
from older
people
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Relevant points identified: The essay identifies key advantages and disadvantages of the topic.
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  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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