You have recently applied for a course at a college and have been accepted. However, you cannot join the course due to some reasons. Write a letter to the principal of the college. In your letter, • which course you have applied for • why you cannot join the course • ask about the possibility of the course in the future

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Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to inquire about the
course
. I will study at a
collage
Correct your spelling
college
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. I am educated. I give document
english
Change the capitalization
English
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course
at a
collage
.
Then
I will enter the college . I was learning a lot for
exam
Correct article usage
the exam
show examples
. I will
moving
Change the verb form
move
be moving
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to another city soon. I will
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not study. I read a book day and night. I was eagerly waiting for the exam answer. I will major in economics at a College. Again, I do not have any money right now for
collage
Correct your spelling
college
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. My brother
work
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works
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in KFC. My brother
earn
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earns
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money in KFC. He
get
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gets
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six hundred
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
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for
Change preposition
per
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month. But it is not enough. I will move
another
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to another
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city.
Then
I will work more for myself. The cost of the
course
is very expensive.
This
is the reason. What is the benefit of the
course
in the future
.
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?
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After reading, I had a lot of plans. But I will
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not study
his
Change preposition
at his
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collage
Correct your spelling
college
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.   I look forward to hearing you!
Your
Correct the word
Yours
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faithfully John Jacob
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide clearer and more structured paragraphs. Each paragraph should cover a single main idea and be logically ordered.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the reasons for not being able to join the course are clearly explained. For example, you mentioned moving city and financial reasons, but the letter's flow makes it hard to follow.
task achievement
Use formal language and tone to address the principal. Avoid using informal phrases like 'I am educated' and specify the course name clearly at the beginning.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate for a formal letter, showing awareness of the correct style.
task achievement
You have included all required details: the course you applied for, reasons for not joining, and inquiries about future possibilities.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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