IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.

The chart below shows what anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.
#anthropology #graduates #university #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #years
The pie chart beneath provides detailed data about the occupation of anthropology bachelor's students from the University. The table demonstrates the earnings of the alumni of human sciences in five years' time.
Overall
, it can be observed that just over
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
total
Change the article
a total
the total
show examples
 number of graduates are capable
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
 successfully hired by employers for full-time jobs, meanwhile,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 half
occupies
Correct subject-verb agreement
occupy
show examples
 themselves with postgraduate education and part-time
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the given table, a significant part of ex-students
earns
Correct subject-verb agreement
earn
show examples
 an adequate amount of money. Taken together, the predominant youth gain permanent employment, reflecting over
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
show examples
 portion.
In contrast
, a small minority are those, who opt for the deeper investigation of their fields.
According to
 data, some of the alumni balance their work and study,
as well as
 those, who make wages from temporary positions, showing 5% and 15% respectively. On closer examination
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 salaries, the state employees are able to obtain the highest salaries in their occupations, acquiring more than $100 000 every second employee and, the least paycheques between $25 000 and $49 000 are earned by only 5%. Followingly, freelancers and private companies' employees may acquire roughly similar earnings,
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 10% of people, earning less than $50 000 and a third of former students, earning more than $100 000.
Submitted by ansa13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: