The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The maps depict the differences
of
the harbour between 2000 and today.
It is noticeable that there were Change preposition
in
slightly
changes Change the adverb
slight
of
the harbour. Change preposition
in
Furthermore
, the number of the
facilities and Correct article usage
apply
the
roads Correct article usage
apply
had
Wrong verb form
has
a
Correct article usage
apply
rise
in these years.
Looking at the information in more Wrong verb form
risen
details
, the location of the marina and the fishing boats were switched. Fix the agreement mistake
detail
Moreover
, the amount of dock
had increased for more passenger ferries to park in.
When it comes to the land surrounding the ocean, showers and toilets Fix the agreement mistake
docks
waere
added beside the car park in the south and the road to the park moved from the south side of it to the west. Cafes and shops were built at the corner Correct your spelling
were
where
of
where private yachts Change preposition
apply
place
just beside the lifeboat. The major difference is the isolated disused castle Wrong verb form
were placed
were
changed Correct subject-verb agreement
was
to
a hotel, and the road linking to it is Change preposition
into
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
seperated
from the road to the lifeboat Correct your spelling
separated
also
the beach used to be public Correct word choice
but are
are
private for the hotel today.Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Submitted by 10youting01 on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction is present but could be more detailed. Instead of just mentioning that changes occurred, briefly indicate what kind of changes (for example, 'The maps illustrate significant changes in the layout and facilities of the harbour between the year 2000 and today.'). This helps set up the essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay generally presents a complete response, yet some details are oversimplified or unclear, such as 'the location of the marina and the fishing boats were switched'. Be more specific about their exact positions in 2000 and today for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Continue to highlight changes with relevant examples, as you did with the addition of showers and toilets, but ensure all statements are precise and clear. For instance, '...and the road to the park moved from the south side of it to the west' can be rephrased for better clarity: '...and the road to the park was relocated from the south side to the west.'
task achievement
The essay does a good job in identifying and comparing specific changes, such as the introduction of cafes and shops, which adds to the clarity.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally well-supported. Examples like the conversion of the disused castle into a hotel and the harbor areas detail effectively illustrate the changes.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.