In many countries, governments spend a lot of money celebrating national holidays and festivals. However, some people think that spending money on these celebrations is a waste. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#countries #governments #money #holidays #festivals #people #celebrations #waste

These days many

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apply

show examples

goverments

Correct your spelling

governments

government

spend a lot of

money

to enjoy

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apply

show examples

a festivals

Correct the article-noun agreement

festivals

a festival

show examples

. So, some people think that

benefit

remain

Verb problem

keep

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it and enjoy

While

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apply

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others

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while others

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believe that

dose

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does

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not matter .

This

essay will discuss both

side

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sides

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and will draw my personal opinion.

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one

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the one

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hand, a lot

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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disagree for many reasons.

Firslty

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Firstly

, they

shown

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showed

have shown

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it is

dos

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does

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not

benefit

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beneficial

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to spend

Secondly

, it is no use because it

is need

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needs

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money

and

expensive

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is expensive

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Moreover

, they can give

another

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to another

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country

instead

spend

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spending

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on celebration.

Also

help

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helps

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the

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poor better than

spend

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spending

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without

benefit

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benefits

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On the other hand

mostly

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most

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believe

spend

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spending

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money

is make

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makes

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relationships between

contry

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country

Also

will be new remain every year and enjoy with it.

Inaddition

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In addition

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individual will

Unnecessary verb

apply

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more respect

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the

show examples

goverments

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governments

government

. and will help

thier

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them

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show examples

festivals.

Furthermore

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Furthermore,

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it is make a strong habitat with each

others

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other

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. no betrayal, no

cooperaiton

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cooperation

, no selfishness. In conclusion after analysis of both

point

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points

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view

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of view

show examples

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believe that

spend

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spending

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money

on the country

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apply

show examples

Correct word choice

beneficial

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benefit

and

n make

Verb problem

creates

show examples

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apply

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good

relaitonships

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relationships

relationship

with

other country

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another country

other countries

show examples

. and we most to appreciation

goverments

Correct your spelling

governments

government

they

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the

show examples

job to us.

Submitted by shougaldhafere on Sun Aug 18 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on structuring your essay more logically. Make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea that supports your main argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure you have a clear introduction and conclusion, but make them more comprehensive. Your introduction should state your thesis clearly, and your conclusion should summarise your main points and restate your thesis in light of the discussion.

task achievement

Your essay needs more specific examples to support your arguments. Include data or case studies to make your points more compelling.

task achievement

Try to develop your ideas more fully. Expand on each point to explain how it supports your argument. This will make your essay more clear and comprehensive.

task achievement

Work on grammar, spelling, and punctuation to improve clarity and professionalism. This will also contribute to a better flow of ideas.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

You have made an effort to provide a balanced view by discussing both the pros and cons of government spending on festivals and holidays.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
50Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

195 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, governments spend a lot of money celebrating national holidays and festivals. However, some people think that spending money on these celebrations is a waste. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays longer distances are travelled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some considered it to be a negative development. While others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some feel that it is impossible for a country to be economically progressive and environmentally friendly at the same time. Others disagree with this view. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas.

Some people think it's better to choose friends who always have the same opinion as them. Other people believe it's good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.