IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

2.) Is it appropriate for students and teachers to be friends on Facebook? How much do you agree or disagree with this opinion and why? Giver reasons and examples to support your answer.

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It is appropriate for kids and teachers to be socially related on Facebook. I partially agree with
this
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 opinion. There are both advantages and disadvantages that I describe in the following paragraph.
First,
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one of the most obvious advantages of being related on social media between pupils and teachers is better communication. If there are any problems with the lesson, the question can be asked immediately improving acknowledgement.
Moreover
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, the relationship in the classroom will become closer leading to a straightforward learning pattern.
This
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 provides a better understanding that assists the teacher in arranging the solution for each student. To illustrate
this
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, a survey recently conducted by the New York Times revealed that two-thirds of American students possess a higher chance of receiving better suggestions from the teacher if they communicate on social media.
On the other hand
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, being connected through online platforms can cause too much anxiety for the kids to share their stories. Just only one post can alter the perspective from positive to negative thoughts.
For instance
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,
according to
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 a recent study from the Faculty of Society at Harvard University, 8 out of 10 U.S. pupils tend to have anxiety if they are given an opportunity to be friends with their school assistant on the Internet.
Additionally
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, the connection on social media unintentionally forces privacy to be stolen from the children. They can be tracked by what they are doing and where they are going by themselves continuously updating their life or AI tracking system that they are undesirable.
To conclude
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, being friends on Facebook between students and teachers is not completely appropriate. The advantages are better conversation and closer relationships. The disadvantages are causing anxiety and lacking privacy.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of the issue. However, you can make your argument stronger by elaborating further on each point.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your stance on the issue, which you have done well. Maintain clarity and directly link each example to your main argument.
coherence cohesion
You've done well in structuring your essay logically, presenting both sides of the argument with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Your use of recent studies and surveys as examples significantly enhances your arguments, particularly where you’ve cited surveys from credible sources like The New York Times and Harvard University.
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