IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#internet #newspapers
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Newspapers
Use synonyms
 turn into
an outdated sources
Correct the article-noun agreement
an outdated source
outdated sources
show examples
 of
information
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,
in
Change preposition
on
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 the opposite the
internet
Use synonyms
comes to be
Wrong verb form
has become
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significantly fashionable. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 claim because electronic
news
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more
up to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
show examples
compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
printed
ones
Correct your spelling
news
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, access to the web is cheaper and easier than to the
press
Use synonyms
.
Information
Use synonyms
 on the
internet
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 is updated every second,
in contrast
Linking Words
, the
newspapers
Use synonyms
 need to be written by journalists,
then
Linking Words
 printed and delivered to the shops.
Due to
Linking Words
 that, electronic
news
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would be
Wrong verb form
is
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 always fresher than paper
ones
Correct your spelling
news
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 and
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
preferred by readers. Talking alerts about water supply failures,
for instance
Linking Words
, on the
internet
Use synonyms
 the
information
Use synonyms
 would appear in the same hour, so people could know about the expected fixing time. In the same case, the
news
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 about the same problem would be printed in the
newspapers
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, probably after the problem was solved. To make the
press
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 available to the buyers
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
requires a lot of supplies and workers.
This
Linking Words
 reason makes
newspapers
Use synonyms
 not as cheap as
internet
Use synonyms
 sources. Electronically delivered
news
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 does not need paper and ink
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
for example
Linking Words
, fewer supplies means a cheaper final price for shoppers.
Also
Linking Words
,
internet
Use synonyms
news
Use synonyms
 requires the only journalists to occur, in the opposite
press
Use synonyms
 is made by journalists, printers, and couriers and it needs to be sold by someone. More employees make products higher in price for customers.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
newspapers
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 are a thing of the past and the
internet
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 is the future of the
news
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. The
press
Use synonyms
 is not as
up to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
show examples
 as the web
information
Use synonyms
, in addition, the price is
also
Linking Words
 higher.
Submitted by a.swietochowska11 on

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task achievement
Ensure that each argument is fully developed with clear explanations and examples. For instance, add more details on why internet news is more accessible and affordable compared to newspapers.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage. For example, use 'sources' instead of 'sourses' and 'comes' instead of 'comes'. Additionally, correct the article usage such as 'makes newspapers not as cheap' should be 'makes newspapers more expensive'.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas. Ensure that there is a clear link between each sentence and paragraph. For example, ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Refine the structure by clearly separating the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ensure each section is clearly defined and concise.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear standpoint on the topic and gives relevant supporting points for the argument. It communicates the main idea effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to understand the overall argument.
task achievement
The use of practical examples, such as alerts about water supply failures, helps in illustrating the points more concretely.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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