As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Newspapers
turn into
an outdated sources
Correct the article-noun agreement
an outdated source
outdated sources
show examples
of
information
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the opposite the
internet
comes to be
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
significantly fashionable. I agree with
this
claim because electronic
news
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more
up to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
show examples
compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
printed
ones
Correct your spelling
news
show examples
.
Furthermore
, access to the web is cheaper and easier than to the
press
.
Information
on the
internet
is updated every second,
in contrast
, the
newspapers
need to be written by journalists,
then
printed and delivered to the shops.
Due to
that, electronic
news
would be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
always fresher than paper
ones
Correct your spelling
news
show examples
and
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
preferred by readers. Talking alerts about water supply failures,
for instance
, on the
internet
the
information
would appear in the same hour, so people could know about the expected fixing time. In the same case, the
news
about the same problem would be printed in the
newspapers
, probably after the problem was solved. To make the
press
available to the buyers
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
requires a lot of supplies and workers.
This
reason makes
newspapers
not as cheap as
internet
sources. Electronically delivered
news
does not need paper and ink
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
for example
, fewer supplies means a cheaper final price for shoppers.
Also
,
internet
news
requires the only journalists to occur, in the opposite
press
is made by journalists, printers, and couriers and it needs to be sold by someone. More employees make products higher in price for customers.
To conclude
,
newspapers
are a thing of the past and the
internet
is the future of the
news
. The
press
is not as
up to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
show examples
as the web
information
, in addition, the price is
also
higher.
Submitted by a.swietochowska11 on

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task achievement
Ensure that each argument is fully developed with clear explanations and examples. For instance, add more details on why internet news is more accessible and affordable compared to newspapers.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage. For example, use 'sources' instead of 'sourses' and 'comes' instead of 'comes'. Additionally, correct the article usage such as 'makes newspapers not as cheap' should be 'makes newspapers more expensive'.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas. Ensure that there is a clear link between each sentence and paragraph. For example, ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Refine the structure by clearly separating the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ensure each section is clearly defined and concise.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear standpoint on the topic and gives relevant supporting points for the argument. It communicates the main idea effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to understand the overall argument.
task achievement
The use of practical examples, such as alerts about water supply failures, helps in illustrating the points more concretely.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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