IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Task one the two pie charts show the patron of expenditure in US between 1966-1996. Summarise the information by selecting the reporting and main feature and making comparisons where relevant

Task one the two pie charts show the patron of expenditure in US between 1966-1996. Summarise the information by selecting the reporting and main feature and making comparisons where relevant
#two #show #patron #expenditure #summarise #information #feature #comparisons
The two
given
Verb problem
apply
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pie charts depict information regarding seven categories of expenditures these are - food, cars,
petrol
, restaurants, furniture, computers, and books in the US over a period of 30 years, starting from 1966.
However
, the data is measured in percentages.
Overall
, it can be seen clearly from the charts that the consumption of
petrol
 decreased slightly
as well as
 the amount spent on restaurants doubled over the years. There was
dramatic
Add an article
a dramatic
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 increase
of
Change preposition
in
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 car expenditure in 1996.
To begin
 with, between 1966 and 1996, the percentage of food consumption had been decreased significantly from 44% to 14%. The rate of books had the lowest percentage in 1996 with just 1%. The rate of
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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 increased from 1% to 10% within the provided duration. The expenditure rate
of
Change preposition
on
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petrol
, furniture, and computers
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 9%, 7%, and 10% in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
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1966. Though in 1996, both consumption of
petrol
as well as
 furniture were the same percentage with only 8%.
Submitted by mahamudzisan on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words petrol with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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