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These days, a majority of animals are kept in zoos in order to save them from becoming extinct. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#majority #animals #zoos
Nowadays many species of
animals
 are endangered and
this
 makes authorities take measures in order to save them. That's why a huge number of
animals
 are now found in zoos. From my perspective,
this
 case faces two sides.  On the one hand, it is good for them to be kept in special places, but on the other, it may include disadvantages.
Firstly
, in different countries endangered
animals
 are often saved from extinction, because when scientists notice a particular creature to be endangered they always are trying to protect
this
 area of wildlife. To illustrate, in Africa, kangaroos are being supervised in order to avoid any changes of disappearance.
However
, sometimes
this
 may cause some problems, because of the lack of financial possibilities. In the zoos,
animals
 are kept in miserable conditions and
in
Change preposition
apply
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cup their freedom and normal life which they are supposed to have.
To conclude
, keeping a majority of
animals
 in zoos in order to avoid their extinction faces both: disadvantages and advantages. It may protect particular species, but can
also
 put them in danger.
Submitted by nicolletameriacri on

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task response
The essay adequately addresses the prompt but would benefit from more in-depth analysis and discussion. Make your position clearer in the introduction and give a brief overview of the points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay is generally logically structured, there are some areas where clarity could be improved. For example, the connection between keeping animals in zoos and financial constraints could be better articulated.
task response
Introduce more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will help in making your essay more compelling and robust.
introduction conclusion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, making the structure easy to follow.
supported main points
The main points are supported with examples, which helps in understanding the ideas presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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