IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays the government are investing more in public transport including buses and train than in building new roads. What are the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development.

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In today's contemporary world , globalization is increasing significantly;
the
Correct article usage
apply
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government
Use synonyms
 agencies are more
incline
Replace the word
inclined
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 towards improving the modes of public transportation
instead
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 of improving and constructing new roadways .
This
Linking Words
 essay will briefly explain some aspects of the former and the latter
along with
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 some instances to justify whether it's beneficial or not in context with
developement
Correct your spelling
development
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
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.
To begin
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 with, the
ministery's
Correct your spelling
ministry's
minister's
 sole target is to upgrade the community transit systems and make amendments to attract more individuals
using
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to use
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this
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 for daily commute .
This
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 approach has proven to be a great success for them , in decreasing traffic and vehicular ownership which has reduced pollution levels and increased connectivity in rural provinces.
In addition
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 to that , a plethora of
the
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
government operated
Add a hyphen
government-operated
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 trains and buses with all exotic facilities , now provide
top notch
Add a hyphen
top-notch
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 travelling
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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 to commuters and
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 cost-effective as compared to private transportation. For illustration, a hefty amount of
population
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the population
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 was reluctant
in commuting
Change preposition
to commute
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 via the
government
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's
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
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 of transport; these changes have transformed their opinion .
Nevertheless
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,
due to
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one-sided
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the one-sided
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 focus of the ruling party, some individuals often argue that they are neglecting improving the infrastructure by not refining the roads in cities and there is a major backlog for highway projects.
Moreover
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, uneven roadways adversely contribute
in
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to
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wear
Correct article usage
the wear
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 and tear of vehicles causing financial loss to both the
government
Use synonyms
 and society.
Therefore
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 , damaged
roadsurfaces
Correct your spelling
road surfaces
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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become an issue of grave predicament and should be dealt
with
Change preposition
with with
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 equal importance for the betterment of our localities. In summation ,
aforementioned
Add an article
the aforementioned
an aforementioned
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 phenomenon of concentrating highly on public transportation is a positive
developement
Correct your spelling
development
 but the ministry should rather take a balanced approach ,to fulfil the necessity of roadways to be upgraded as well . We can flourish globally, by focusing on all issues and enforcing expansion in all fields to enhance
living
Correct article usage
the living
show examples
 standards of our community.

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task response
Your introduction should be clearer and more concise. Try to directly address the two parts of the question: reasons for the government's focus on public transport and whether it is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical and syntactical errors which affect the clarity of your ideas. Focus on improving sentence structure and avoiding run-on sentences.
task response
Some ideas presented in your essay lack sufficient support and detail. Make sure each point is backed up with specific examples or explanations to fully substantiate your claims.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Use linking phrases and ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid using overly complex vocabulary unnecessarily. This can make your essay harder to read. Aim for clarity and precision in your language.
task response
You address both parts of the question in your essay, which is essential for a good task response.
task response
You have provided examples to support some of your points, which is helpful in illustrating your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay and provides a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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