IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays the government are investing more in public transport including buses and train than in building new roads. What are the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development.

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In today's contemporary world , globalization is increasing significantly;
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 agencies are more
incline
Replace the word
inclined

The word incline doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 towards improving the modes of public transportation
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of improving and constructing new roadways .
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay will briefly explain some aspects of the former and the latter
along with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 some instances to justify whether it's beneficial or not in context with
developement
Correct your spelling
development

If you don’t want developement to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective

The word prospective doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, the
ministery's
Correct your spelling
ministry's
minister's

If you don’t want ministery's to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

sole target is to upgrade the community transit systems and make amendments to attract more individuals
using
Change the verb form
to use

Using doesn’t seem to work here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 for daily commute .
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 approach has proven to be a great success for them , in decreasing traffic and vehicular ownership which has reduced pollution levels and increased connectivity in rural provinces.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 to that , a plethora of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

government operated
Add a hyphen
government-operated

It seems that government operated is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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 trains and buses with all exotic facilities , now provide
top notch
Add a hyphen
top-notch

It seems that top notch is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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 travelling
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences

It seems that experience may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 to commuters and
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

It seems that the verb is does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 cost-effective as compared to private transportation. For illustration, a hefty amount of
population
Correct article usage
the population

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 was reluctant
in commuting
Change preposition
to commute

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 via the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means

It seems that mean may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 of transport; these changes have transformed their opinion .
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
one-sided
Correct article usage
the one-sided

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 focus of the ruling party, some individuals often argue that they are neglecting improving the infrastructure by not refining the roads in cities and there is a major backlog for highway projects.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, uneven roadways adversely contribute
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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wear
Correct article usage
the wear

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 and tear of vehicles causing financial loss to both the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and society.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 , damaged
roadsurfaces
Correct your spelling
road surfaces

If you don’t want roadsurfaces to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have

It seems that the verb has does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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become an issue of grave predicament and should be dealt
with
Change preposition
with with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 equal importance for the betterment of our localities. In summation ,
aforementioned
Add an article
the aforementioned
an aforementioned

The noun phrase aforementioned phenomenon seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 phenomenon of concentrating highly on public transportation is a positive
developement
Correct your spelling
development

If you don’t want developement to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

but the ministry should rather take a balanced approach ,to fulfil the necessity of roadways to be upgraded as well . We can flourish globally, by focusing on all issues and enforcing expansion in all fields to enhance
living
Correct article usage
the living

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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task response
Your introduction should be clearer and more concise. Try to directly address the two parts of the question: reasons for the government's focus on public transport and whether it is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical and syntactical errors which affect the clarity of your ideas. Focus on improving sentence structure and avoiding run-on sentences.
task response
Some ideas presented in your essay lack sufficient support and detail. Make sure each point is backed up with specific examples or explanations to fully substantiate your claims.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Use linking phrases and ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid using overly complex vocabulary unnecessarily. This can make your essay harder to read. Aim for clarity and precision in your language.
task response
You address both parts of the question in your essay, which is essential for a good task response.
task response
You have provided examples to support some of your points, which is helpful in illustrating your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay and provides a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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