IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You recently purchased a fitness program online which did not help you lose any weight. Write an email to the fitness instructor in about 150-200 words. Your email should include the following things: • Mention when and where you bought this course • Describe why you were disappointed • Urge the instructor to remedy the situation

#fitness #program #weight #email #instructor #course #remedy #situation
Dear Bob, The purpose of my writing today is to inform you
about
Change preposition
that
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 the fitness membership which I purchased from the website, was not any help to me.
To begin
 with, as I am a fitness freak, I saw the captivating advertisements on social media which convinced me to purchase
this
 program. I registered for the sessions on 12th June and paid the flat fees on 18th June 2024. Given that the website mentioned that I would be getting weekly diet plans, I am extremely disappointed that no one from the office has provided me anything.
For instance
, when I contacted the front staff to provide me
the
Add the preposition
with the
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 recipes
of
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for
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 some protein-rich meals, I was told that it is not
entailed
Verb problem
included
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 in the plan I bought,
this
 is highly unacceptable. Given the aforementioned scenario, I would like a full refund as I did not get enough service which I was promised to me; I would
also
 like to unsubscribe
my
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from my
show examples
 membership effective next month. If
that is
 not possible, I request you to transfer my membership to my brother so he
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 use the services. I am looking forward to seeing
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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how my request translates into prompt actions from your side. Your kind cooperation would be most appreciated. Sincerely, Ashita Malhotra
Submitted by pranav.dhawan28 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific details about the program's promises and how it failed to deliver. This would strengthen the support for your request for a refund or membership transfer.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all parts of your letter are well-connected and logically flow from one point to the next. Adding transition words or phrases can help achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Enhance clarity by reviewing sentence structures and grammar. For example, rephrasing 'as I am a fitness freak' to 'being a fitness enthusiast' can make your point clearer and more professional.
task achievement
You have covered all the necessary points as outlined in the task prompt, providing a complete response.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and effectively set the stage and wrap up your case.
task achievement
You used specific dates and examples which help make your case more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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