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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

#companies #uniforms #staff #times
In the contemporary world, professional dress codes have been introduced in various organisations.
Although
 instructing
staff
 to wear
uniforms
 may increase the level of
trusts
Fix the agreement mistake
trust
show examples
 from potential customers, I think the disadvantages outweigh the benefits as it would tremendously affect
staff
’s
performance
. One of the positive outcomes of workers wearing
uniforms
 is that it can develop
trusts
Fix the agreement mistake
trust
show examples
 among potential buyers,
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 the increase in brand visibility and, in the end, a greater number of products sold. Provided that a salesperson appears at your door trying to sell a new product, you would not believe that the promoted goods
is
Change the verb form
are
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 of quality or actually from a trusted company.
That is
 why many private universities always wear
uniforms
 whenever they go on a mission to promote their university to
prospect
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prospective
show examples
 students, attracting numerous students to enrol in their institutions
afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
show examples
.
Although
this
 is the case, I believe that
staff
conveniency
Correct your spelling
convenience
 is worth more attention since it could obviously boost their productivity.
Staff
 productivity is a key to
success
Add an article
the success
show examples
 of every enterprise;
however
, if the uniform is introduced as a compulsory, it may affect employees’
performance
. Unless the materials used to make the
uniforms
 are
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 high quality, and the design is customised to individuals’ body shape, it would not help the company
moving
Wrong verb form
move
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 forward to success; in
contract
Correct your spelling
contrast
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, it will restrict
staff
’s
performance
.
For instance
, female employees in the banking sector in Cambodia are required to wear a uniform that consists of an over-the-knee skirt and a tight jacket. Many complained about
this
 attire as it is difficult for them to travel from
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 to
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
.
Thus
, I think it is better that the company gives freedom to its employee to wear anything comfortable to work so that it would not affect their everyday tasks
performance
. In conclusion, in
sprite
Correct your spelling
spite
show examples
 of the potential benefits of
introduction
Replace the word
introducing
show examples
uniforms
 to corporations,
such
 as building
trusts
Fix the agreement mistake
trust
show examples
 with consumers, I believe that it is more beneficial for them to free their
staff
 from a hard-to-wear dress code because it would greatly affect their daily operation.
Submitted by emteeme on

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task achievement
You have addressed the topic and covered both advantages and disadvantages. However, some points could be further developed for clarity and depth.
task achievement
Make sure to clarify and elaborate on your ideas to ensure they are fully understood. For instance, you could provide more specific examples and discuss them in greater detail.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear and logical structure to your essay, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. This can help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical inaccuracies and word choices to ensure they do not distract from your main points.
introduction conclusion present
You have a good introduction and conclusion that frame your essay well.
supported main points
Your main points are supported by relevant examples, which make your arguments more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • uniforms
  • staff
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • promotes
  • belonging
  • team spirit
  • professional
  • cohesive
  • image
  • security
  • identification
  • reduces
  • expenses
  • employees
  • decide
  • wear
  • fosters
  • equality
  • minimizes
  • differences
  • individuality
  • self-expression
  • uncomfortable
  • restrictive
  • body types
  • sizes
  • maintenance
  • cleanliness
  • control
  • restriction
  • personal style
  • fashion preferences
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