Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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atThe
Correct your spelling
The
classes that are related to
art
majors
such
as painting and sketching are necessarily the same as other classes,
for
this
reason, it is better for
children
`s growth in these kinds of
subjects
to be held in high
school
. I agree with
this
stement
Correct your spelling
statement
for two clear reasons: First of
all
Add the comma(s)
all,
show examples
the best age for learning things is the high
school
period. The second one is students have their family's support which makes that easier to do.
Firstly
, teenagers in
school
time
can learn a lot of sorts of information. During the
time
that
children
are educating do not have any responsibility except for learning
school
subjects
and their minds are open to a variety of skills and data they
also
do not have a busy mind all of these matters are helpful for learning an extra skill that can be arts major like sketching.
For example
, for a person who is in the second decade of their own life in comparison with someone else who is older is so
easier
Correct word choice
easy
show examples
to learn a new ability.
Secondly
, parents provide financial support to their
children
in high
school
. When families are supporting their
children
it is the best
time
for them to improve themselves
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
learning a new
art
subject with their lesson
subjects
in high
school
but when they grow up they do not have
this
support and it is harder to learn arts. So it is good for schools to hold
art
classes. In the bottom line,
art
subjects
are necessary for
children
or teenagers in high
school
because it is the best
time
for them to learn arts and new abilities.
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task response
Your introduction partially addresses the topic, but it could be clearer and more engaging by clearly stating your position. Try to frame your main argument in a concise manner.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure in your essay, but it can be improved by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a main idea and that your entire essay transitions smoothly between these main points.
task response
Your essay lacks specific examples to support your arguments. Including relevant and detailed examples would strengthen your points and make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can impede the understanding of your ideas. Reviewing your grammar and sentence structures would enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your argument.
task response
You have made a clear effort to present logical reasons for your opinion, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • emotional wellbeing
  • mental health
  • fine motor skills
  • eye-hand coordination
  • self-expression
  • self-esteem
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • inclusivity
  • academic performance
  • artistic activities
  • complement
  • enhance learning
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