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Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#art #classes #child’s #development #subjects #school
atThe
Correct your spelling
The
 classes that are related to
art
 majors
such
 as painting and sketching are necessarily the same as other classes,
for
this
 reason, it is better for
children
`s growth in these kinds of
subjects
 to be held in high
school
. I agree with
this
stement
Correct your spelling
statement
 for two clear reasons: First of
all
Add the comma(s)
all,
show examples
 the best age for learning things is the high
school
 period. The second one is students have their family's support which makes that easier to do.
Firstly
, teenagers in
school
time
 can learn a lot of sorts of information. During the
time
 that
children
 are educating do not have any responsibility except for learning
school
subjects
 and their minds are open to a variety of skills and data they
also
 do not have a busy mind all of these matters are helpful for learning an extra skill that can be arts major like sketching.
For example
, for a person who is in the second decade of their own life in comparison with someone else who is older is so
easier
Correct word choice
easy
show examples
 to learn a new ability.
Secondly
, parents provide financial support to their
children
 in high
school
. When families are supporting their
children
 it is the best
time
 for them to improve themselves
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 learning a new
art
 subject with their lesson
subjects
 in high
school
 but when they grow up they do not have
this
 support and it is harder to learn arts. So it is good for schools to hold
art
 classes. In the bottom line,
art
subjects
 are necessary for
children
 or teenagers in high
school
 because it is the best
time
 for them to learn arts and new abilities.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task response
Your introduction partially addresses the topic, but it could be clearer and more engaging by clearly stating your position. Try to frame your main argument in a concise manner.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure in your essay, but it can be improved by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a main idea and that your entire essay transitions smoothly between these main points.
task response
Your essay lacks specific examples to support your arguments. Including relevant and detailed examples would strengthen your points and make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can impede the understanding of your ideas. Reviewing your grammar and sentence structures would enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your argument.
task response
You have made a clear effort to present logical reasons for your opinion, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • emotional wellbeing
  • mental health
  • fine motor skills
  • eye-hand coordination
  • self-expression
  • self-esteem
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • inclusivity
  • academic performance
  • artistic activities
  • complement
  • enhance learning
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