Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
atThe
classes that are related to Correct your spelling
The
art
majors such
as painting and sketching are necessarily the same as other classes, for
this
reason, it is better for children
`s growth in these kinds of subjects
to be held in high school
. I agree with this
stement
for two clear reasons: First of Correct your spelling
statement
all
the best age for learning things is the high Add the comma(s)
all,
school
period. The second one is students have their family's support which makes that easier to do.
Firstly
, teenagers in school
time
can learn a lot of sorts of information. During the time
that children
are educating do not have any responsibility except for learning school
subjects
and their minds are open to a variety of skills and data they also
do not have a busy mind all of these matters are helpful for learning an extra skill that can be arts major like sketching. For example
, for a person who is in the second decade of their own life in comparison with someone else who is older is so easier
to learn a new ability.
Correct word choice
easy
Secondly
, parents provide financial support to their children
in high school
. When families are supporting their children
it is the best time
for them to improve themselves for
learning a new Change preposition
by
art
subject with their lesson subjects
in high school
but when they grow up they do not have this
support and it is harder to learn arts. So it is good for schools to hold art
classes.
In the bottom line, art
subjects
are necessary for children
or teenagers in high school
because it is the best time
for them to learn arts and new abilities.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task response
Your introduction partially addresses the topic, but it could be clearer and more engaging by clearly stating your position. Try to frame your main argument in a concise manner.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure in your essay, but it can be improved by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a main idea and that your entire essay transitions smoothly between these main points.
task response
Your essay lacks specific examples to support your arguments. Including relevant and detailed examples would strengthen your points and make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can impede the understanding of your ideas. Reviewing your grammar and sentence structures would enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your argument.
task response
You have made a clear effort to present logical reasons for your opinion, which is commendable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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