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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. 1

The chart below shows what anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. 1
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The charts illustrate the definition of anthropology graduates from one university, and the table summarises the salaries of alum .
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is a pie chart,that already had the anthropology of
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fully employed.Meanwhile,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 categories are about
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
.And a table shows a salary improvement in all three professions in five years.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,in the
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 the number of full-time
workers
Use synonyms
 was higher than others,it was more than half.
Then
Linking Words
, the numerous of
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 was less than a fifth. After, several unemployed created 12%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,there were a few not known
workers
Use synonyms
, and their numbers make up 8% .As well,the integer of full-time postgraduate students was the
selfsame
Replace the word
same
show examples
.Interestingly,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 and postgraduate students are
completed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a small minority. The table shows the results of graduates after a few years.There are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
three main types of employment. In the first time, their wages fell.
For example
Linking Words
, the freelance consultants and government sector showed the lowest result (5-15% )with salaries of $25,000-49,999. There has been an
activity increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 salary in the government sector,which created half
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 and the income was $100,000.
However
Linking Words
, private companies afford average indicators near 10-30% with good earnings.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • anthropology graduates
  • undergraduate degree
  • part-time work
  • full-time work
  • postgraduate study
  • unemployment
  • career trends
  • employment opportunities
  • flexibility
  • specialization
  • competitive job market
  • salary
  • earning potential
  • private sector
  • government sector
  • freelance work
  • public policy
  • cultural preservation
  • consulting
  • corporate anthropology
  • expertise
  • accrued
  • distribution
  • sector
  • trend
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