IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

when we meet someone for the firt time , we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. is this a good thing or a bad thing?

4.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
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Introduction
Honestly, we meet
people
Use synonyms
 daily
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every where
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
.
Sometime
Replace the word
Sometimes
show examples
 we meet them in reality and
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media.After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 we start to analyse and recognize them
this
Linking Words
react
Replace the word
reaction
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
judge
Use synonyms
 them that today
call
Wrong verb form
called
show examples
 it
first
Use synonyms
impresion
Correct your spelling
impression
.
Sometime
Replace the word
Sometimes
show examples
 we set our behavior with
this
Linking Words
 data.I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 Idea and in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will support my opinion with examples.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
,Everyone has
self
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
charactor
Correct your spelling
character
 that
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 know them we should take more
time
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 for that.We can not decide about them quickly and
judge
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 them.
In other words
Linking Words
, some
treetment
Correct your spelling
types
 of
epople
Correct your spelling
people
 need more
time
Use synonyms
 to
judge
Use synonyms
 and everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 particular
charactors
Correct your spelling
characteristics
 that we can not recognize
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
first
Use synonyms
 touch.
Body paragraph 2
Another reason why I disagree with
decide
Replace the word
the decision
show examples
 about everyone in
Use synonyms
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 meet is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
information
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 about them .
For
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To
show examples
 decide about them we should have enough
information
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 about them.We can collect
this
Linking Words
information
Use synonyms
 in some situations and
conditons
Correct your spelling
conditions
, After
gather
Change the verb form
gathering
show examples
 them we can decide.
Whats
Correct your spelling
What's
show examples
 more ,lack of
information
Use synonyms
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to bad recognition
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 and we need more things.
Body paragraph 3
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
,we should make an
exeption
Correct your spelling
exception
exemption
 in some cases that we can not relationship with them and we do not
sens
Correct your spelling
send
show examples
 good about them.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 we can not gather more
information
Use synonyms
 and take more
time
Use synonyms
 with them to recognize them better.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
impresion
Correct your spelling
impression
 is
important
Add an article
an important
the important
show examples
 thing
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
relationship
Add an article
the relationship
show examples
 between
people
Use synonyms
.I believe
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 decide about them we should collect more
information
Use synonyms
 and take more
time
Use synonyms
 with them.
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
show examples
 I think we should avoid
to
Change the verb form
judging
show examples
judge
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Use synonyms
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
meet
Replace the word
meeting
show examples
 and try to know more about them.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay would be more effective if you organized your ideas more logically. For example, make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point of that paragraph.
task achievement
Your essay lacks specific examples to support your points. Including relevant and specific examples would make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
language accuracy
There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrases in your essay. Reviewing grammar rules and practicing writing can help you avoid these issues.
introduction conclusion
While your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, it could be stronger by restating your thesis in a more compelling way.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and have provided reasons to support it.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which helps to frame your essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • first impression
  • snap judgment
  • initial assessment
  • cultural norms
  • biases
  • preconceived notions
  • gut feeling
  • interaction
  • social cues
  • rapport
What to do next:
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