The chart below shows what anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. 3
The diagram below illustrates what Anthropology graduates did after ending the same undergraduate course of degree.The table demonstrates the anthropologists’ salary improvement after 5
years’
Change noun form
years
work
.Change preposition
of work
Overall
, It is a pie-chart
which shows the destination of Anthropology graduates in percentages.Approximately the Correct your spelling
pie chart
pie-chart
is divided into 6 parts.The full-time workers Correct your spelling
pie chart
takes
Change the verb form
take
more
than half of the whole chart,Change preposition
up more
when
the rest parts take up less.
Correct word choice
while
Overall
, The table presents the salary improvement in 5 years
time.The greatest rise was in the Change noun form
years'
last
year
.When the
half of the workers got more than one hundred thousand dollars Correct article usage
apply
employment
.
Change preposition
in employment
To begin
with, all the
6 pieces Correct article usage
apply
are
nearly had Verb problem
have
thier
job or continued studying,except the one portion.The Correct your spelling
their
not known
section takes less than a fifth of the draw, and it is unknown could they find their work or not.
Verb problem
not-known
According to
the scheme,during the 5 year
time
employees had definite employments which had differences in amount each Add a comma
time,
year
.But it was concluded with a valuable increase in last
one year
.What changes the whole rest fractions.
Change the punctuation
?
Submitted by ansa13 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "improvement" was used 2 times.
▼