Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today’s society, there are contrasting views on whether
people
should focus more on cooperating or competing with one another. In my opinion,
cooperation
can lead to better results. On the one hand, through
cooperation
teamwork skills can be developed and it contributes to
mantaining
Correct your spelling
maintaining
motivation high in the members. When
people
work
together on a project, both in school or at
work
, they can share their ideas and
this
can lead to new
outcome
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outcomes
show examples
that
otherwise
would have never happened.
This
is easily provable just by thinking how much the ability to
work
in a team is taken into consideration by companies in the hiring process.
In addition
,
cooperation
can guarantee a happier workplace and a sense of belonging to the company or to the classroom.
On the other hand
, many
people
suggest that only through competition better results can be
reached
Verb problem
achieved
show examples
. Many
work
enviroments
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environments
are highly competitive because those who are in charge think that it is the motivation of wanting to be better than someone else that
push
Correct subject-verb agreement
pushes
show examples
people
to exceed their limits.
Furthermore
, it is really common for teachers to create competition between the students as a way to help them increase their
grade
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grades
show examples
and become better students. Many
sport coach
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sports coaches
show examples
likewise
use the same strategy to encourage athletes to improve their performance.
However
, it is proven that in most cases competitive workplaces cause higher stress and worse mental health
condition
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conditions
show examples
. In conclusion, even if competition can be a catalyst
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
new achievements,
cooperation
contributes to creating better
enviroments
Correct your spelling
environments
environment
in
addiction
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addition
show examples
to outstanding results.
Submitted by lucrezialivi on

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully supported with specific examples. For instance, mention particular studies or real-world instances where cooperation or competition led to significant outcomes.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by connecting ideas more seamlessly. Use transitional phrases to link paragraphs and ensure that each section flows smoothly into the next. For example, instead of starting a new paragraph abruptly, you could begin with 'In contrast' or 'However'.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which outlines your stance effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
You provide balanced viewpoints, presenting both the advantages of cooperation and competition, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
logical structure
You used relevant arguments and maintained a clear structure throughout your essay, which helps the reader understand your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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