In some countries, prison is seen as the solution to crime. However, some people believe that giving people a better education is a better way to prevent them from committing crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these ideas? Give your opinions based on your knowledge and expeiences.
There is no doubt that other nations still practice jail time to solve felonies.
However
, it is debated among the people that they should provide education
to reduce violation
. I totally agree that Fix the agreement mistake
violations
education
as
prevention to Correct your spelling
a
avoid
them Verb problem
prevent
on
committing Change preposition
from
misdeer
.
Correct your spelling
misdeed
To begin
with, looking at the education's
perspective, it helps in shaping the Change noun form
education
behavior
and attitudes of individuals. When they Change the spelling
behaviour
have
exposed to Verb problem
are
such
awareness about misdemeanours and victimization, making
Verb problem
apply
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
less
likely to commit crimes. Add a missing verb
are less
For instance
, starting in
a young age, encourage them to develop Change preposition
at
sense
of Add an article
a sense
moral
and empathy Replace the word
morality
on
humanity. Change preposition
for
In addition
, the
Correct article usage
apply
education
provides long-term
solution compared to prison. Correct article usage
a long-term
Education
addresses the root causes of crime whereas
prison only deter
offence in a short-term solution. Change the verb form
deters
For example
, former
inmate will probably Add an article
the former
a former
commits
an illegal act owing to a lack of knowledge and support.
Change the verb form
commit
On the other hand
, no one can deny that the detention centre can help mitigate the transgression rates. When the
Correct article usage
apply
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
broke
the laws Wrong verb form
break
and
they will be sent to Correct word choice
apply
lock-up
. Correct your spelling
lock up
As a result
, this
approach to crime reduction. Furthermore
, many ex-offender will learn from their mistake and experiences while
staying in the correction center
. Giving an example, Change the spelling
centre
ex-convict
who Add an article
an ex-convict
is being release
from jail will think twice before doing something bad. Change the verb form
is being released
is releasing
Consequently
, providing an effective way on
reducing Change preposition
of
such
wrongful events.
In conclusion, I think that prevention is better than cure. Likewise
, education
is the better method to prevent them from committing crimes, considering the moral value and long-term effect. Therefore
, I agree with
Change preposition
that
education
is more important rather than prison.Submitted by tifjong on
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task achievement
You should work on providing clearer, more detailed examples to support your points. This will help to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the organization of your paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph contains one main idea and related supporting details. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively by discussing both perspectives and clearly stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, giving a clear overview and summary of your essay.