Some people say that shops should sell food products from the local area rather than sell food imported from other country's.Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that supermarkets have to sell
products
which is
made by local Change the verb form
are
manufactures
or farmers Correct your spelling
manufacturers
instead
of marketing with overseas food
. Personally, I completely disagree with the idea of restriction foreign products
, and would prefer to taste the cultural food
of abroad countries.
On the one hand, some of the reasons for economical
improvements Replace the word
economic
is
selling and providing local Correct subject-verb agreement
are
products
to abroad countries, and also
making cultural friendships overseas, it is therefore
logical that restricting import
from other countries would have Fix the agreement mistake
imports
a negative effects
on both. Correct the article-noun agreement
a negative effect
negative effects
Furthermore
, some of the children would prefer tastier food
rather than supporting the cultural side of own
country, Correct pronoun usage
their own
thus
the pressure on parents hearing yapping about food
on a daily basis could be removed. Furthermore
, selling only local food
would have a large negative impact on the small shops all over the country, people would rather doing
big Verb problem
make
purchaces
Correct your spelling
purchases
on
supermarkets than Change preposition
in
going
to small shops not knowing if they have the exact Wrong verb form
go
products
.
On the other hand
, improving social
Add an article
the social
relationship
of foreign people by allocating Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
governments
money Fix the agreement mistake
government
on
import Change preposition
to
products
would greatly benefits
us all. Change the verb form
benefit
Moreover
, the
Correct article usage
apply
adveritising
abroad Correct your spelling
advertising
food
companies Change preposition
for food
such
as McDonalds
, KFC and so on, would increase the net worth of the companies, and lead to Change noun form
Mcdonald's
Mcdonalds'
increase
in Correct article usage
an increase
salaries
of the workers. Correct article usage
the salaries
Additionally
, nowadays, people just cant
live a normal life without overseas Correct your spelling
can't
products
, we use them on a daily basis. For example
, an
Change the article
a
mayonase
that almost every person Correct your spelling
mayonnaise
use
to add Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
a
flavour Correct article usage
apply
on
Change preposition
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
food
is only produced in Sweden, and closing the export borders will leave us without our favourite taste.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that abroad food
is a huge part of our everyday life; Accordingly
, it is illogical to restricts
imported Change the verb
restrict
food
Submitted by talgattan4ez on
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Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas. However, ensure that your examples are relevant and specific to strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally follows a logical structure with an introduction and conclusion present. To enhance coherence, aim to link your ideas more smoothly and use more transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
While your arguments are presented clearly, try to avoid repetition and improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs for better cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively, providing a well-rounded response.
coherence cohesion
You've managed to present and support your main points well, contributing to the coherence of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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