IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists and not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people?

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In
this
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 modern era,
residents
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 in some countries
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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rarely
check-in
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check in
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 at numerous museums and historical
sites
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,
however
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, it is quite welcome by foreign
travelers
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travellers
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.
This
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 essay is going to take a deep look into the roof of
this
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phenonmenom
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phenomenon
 and some
solution
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solutions
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 for it. First of all,
due to
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 familiarity and accessibility, local people might feel they can visit museums and historical
sites
Use synonyms
 whenever they want.
Moreover
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, some might have an extra-curricular activity
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these places
nd
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and
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 don't feel the need to revisit.
Therefore
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, it will lead to
perception
Add an article
the perception
a perception
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 of relevance, local may not find those as exciting or attractive as tourists who are seeking new
experience
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experiences
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.
Besides
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, some ancient war exhibitions still require entry fees for
residents
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that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 equal to tourists,
thus
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, it is barely seen that locals come to those
sites
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.
Finally
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, citizens might not be conscious of the current exhibits or the historical significance of local
sites
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.
On the other hand
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, it is
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to encourage local people to go
these
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to these
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 places.
Firstly
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, more historic events should be organized
such
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 as workshops and cultural festivals that resonate with the local community,
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 highlight local achievements and contributions within exhibits to foster community pride.
Secondly
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, creating exhibits that focus on the national history and culture, making it more relevant to
residents
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.
Furthermore
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, local citizens should be had free
entty
Correct your spelling
entry
entity
 fees or promotion of
its
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their
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 fares.
To sum up
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, some local
residents
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
of
Change preposition
apply
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awareness of museums, considering entering fees as meant as tourists.
Therefore
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, reducing costs and hosting events
updating
Verb problem
apply
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to keep content fresh are practical solutions for them.

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task achievement
Be sure to clarify some points, such as why local residents might not find historical sites exciting despite their familiarity. This will add depth to your argument.
general advice
Proofread for minor errors and typographical issues, such as 'check-in', 'nd', 'neccessary', and 'entty'. These reduce the overall professionalism of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, setting a good frame for the reader and establishing the topic effectively.
coherence cohesion
Good use of transition phrases like 'First of all,' 'Moreover,' 'On the other hand,' and 'To sum up,' which help guide the reader through your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a cohesive argument with solutions that are directly related to the problems discussed.
task achievement
The essay identifies several key reasons why local people might not visit historical sites, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You suggest practical solutions such as organizing events and reducing entry fees, which shows a clear intention to address the identified issues.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • tourist attractions
  • interactive exhibits
  • perception
  • civic pride
  • engagement
  • community outreach
  • curate
  • cultural institutions
  • historical significance
  • sustainable tourism
  • resident benefits
  • local patronage
  • preserve
  • educational initiatives
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