IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people thinks that scientists experimenting with animals in a laboratory is the only way we can guarantee new products will be safe for human use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #scientists #animals #laboratory #guarantee #products
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Some people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
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 that scientists experimenting with
animals
 in a laboratory is the only
way
 we can guarantee new products will be safe for human use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with
this
 opinion? It is sometimes argued that whether the test on
animals
 in a laboratory is the only method for us to make sure the latest new product will be safe for people to use. From my point of view, there are some advantages to
do
Wrong verb form
doing
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 animal testing,
however
, as technology
advanced
Wrong verb form
advances
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, there are many other ways to ensure the safety of the product. In my opinion, it is efficient and
economy
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economic
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 to have unpublished
commodity
Fix the agreement mistake
commodities
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 tested on
nonhuman
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nonhumans
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. The
respond
Replace the word
response
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 time of
animals
 can be shorter than people, and it is easier to get enough
animals
 tested for the test.
For example
, we can get the result in a shorter time if pigs
took
Wrong verb form
take
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 the medicine compared to
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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.
Moreover
, it is hard to collect that large number
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 data from patients. Since participants of the experiment have to be paid, using other life being is more
economy
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economical
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. Objectives got paid 200 dollars for an hour, but we can have more than one mouse with the same amount of money.
However
, animal
experimenting
Replace the word
experimentation
show examples
 can be a useful
way
,
artificial
Correct word choice
and artificial
show examples
 intelligence simulation can be a less harmful method that we can choose
according to
 the technology out to date. Living in a world with advancing technologies growing so fast, mock the reaction of
human
Add an article
the human
a human
show examples
 body after taking the medicine is available. In conclusion, I agree that the efficiency and the advantage of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 make it
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 easy
way
 to get the products tested by
animals
, but I argue that artificial intelligence simulation is another
way
 to do it.
Submitted by 10youting01 on

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task response
Ensure all your arguments are well-explained and supported with relevant examples. Your current examples could benefit from being more detailed and directly related to the point being made.
coherence cohesion
Focus on clearer transitions between sentences and ideas to maintain a smoother flow throughout the essay.
task response
You have made clear arguments both for and against animal testing, which shows a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames your argument well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • guarantee
  • safe
  • human use
  • scientists
  • experimenting
  • laboratory
  • animal testing
  • valuable information
  • alternative methods
  • equally effective
  • product safety
  • ethical concerns
  • cruel
  • inhumane
  • technologies
  • advancements
  • research
  • reduce
  • replace
  • regulations
  • guidelines
  • ethical treatment
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