These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past.  Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?  Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.  Write at least 250 words.

Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
has become a trend among people so, they travel
Change preposition
to diffrent
show examples
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
countries with their loved ones. But, these days
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
some
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
it has become an issue
due to
some reasons,
whereas
it
also
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
various benefits for nations in many ways.
This
development has a number of advantages
than
Correct word choice
and
show examples
disadvantages which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs with some relevant
explanation
Fix the agreement mistake
explanations
show examples
in brief.
To begin
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
a positive effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
positive effects
a positive effect
show examples
, travel to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
cities is the biggest step to erase the unemployment rate in that country as well helps to boost the economy and business.
A lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
A lot
Lots
show examples
of restaurants, hotels, and shops get a chance to earn money.
Secondly
, tourism allows
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people to exchange culture, traditions, norms, and ways of life which helps to decrease discrimination and to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peace and happiness in the world.
Moreover
, it gives
a
Change the article
an
show examples
opportunity to
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
to learn
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
of various countries, without understanding and respect of
this
, they can not enjoy their trip.
As a result
, it makes individuals
muti- linguistic
Correct your spelling
muti-linguistic
show examples
.
Also
,
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
of countries get inspiration to construct
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
attractive buildings to increase
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
tourism which will contribute to
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overall
efficiency and growth. On the other side, with the entrance of travelers environment
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
infected
due to
pollution, deforestation, and disruption of local wildlife.
As well
Rephrase
Also
show examples
,
this
trend
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
is trouble for local residents because of overcrowding, they can not their personal
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
in their own nation. In conclusion, no doubt
this
development has some negative impacts on societies and
Correct article usage
the environmental
show examples
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
but we can not ignore the positive sides because it's more worthwhile than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
.
Submitted by harmandeep51075 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve your essay, try to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can be improved for clarity and better flow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically flows from one to the next. Transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which is crucial for the overall structure.
task achievement
You provide multiple advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • boost local economies
  • cultural exchange
  • mutual understanding
  • environmental degradation
  • deforestation
  • overcrowding
  • commodification
  • authentic cultural experiences
  • revenue
  • perspective
  • globalization
  • sustainable tourism
  • heritage sites
  • local customs
  • appreciation of diversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: