In some countries, people who are unemployed receive a sum of money each week in the form of a benefit, while some support this, other people believe that this money should not be given. Discuss both points of view and give your own point of view

Subsidies
is
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are
show examples
a form of
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
assistance given to
people
by the
government
in order for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
better living standards.I strongly believe a sum of money should not be given to
people
,as it may cause lesser productivity and a decline in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
incentive to work . On one hand,
Correct article usage
the governement
show examples
governement
Correct your spelling
government
providing help to citizens may cause lesser production of goods and services and
in addition
to
this
could cause unemployment.
Furthermore
, many
people
may refuse to
continure
Correct your spelling
continue
further
studies
due to
their
dependacy
Correct your spelling
dependency
dependence
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
governement
Correct your spelling
government
.
Government
investing more money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
unemployed
people
would most likely increase the taxes of the working sector and will most likely spend
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
towards the
overall
growth of the economy
such
as hospitals and schools .
Becuase
Correct your spelling
Because
of
this
measure in many rural places
such
as in my village in 2013 the quality of education was rapidly declining.
On the other hand
, a form of assistance could help
people
with fewer incomes
moreover
Correct word choice
and moreover
show examples
, could encourage families to focus on
necesities
Correct your spelling
necessities
such
as food , shelter etc...
This
in fact would
encourge
Correct your spelling
encourage
girls
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
rural places to
purse
Correct your spelling
pursue
show examples
education and more likely elevate their living standards
while
having good hygiene and a backbone for work.
Many
Change preposition
In many
show examples
instances for
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
in India the
government
provides a special quota to the
people
in need
also
most commonly known as reservations. In conclusion, the
government
should not provide any sum of money to the residents which may lead to recession and lower
producutivty
Correct your spelling
productivity
and aspirations.
However
, may play
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
importnat
Correct your spelling
important
role towards shaping
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
future
likewise
job opportunities , exposure and a sense of responsibility.
Submitted by rehanaafeesrs on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both viewpoints as required by the prompt. However, your response would benefit from better clarity and development of ideas to ensure they are comprehensive and logically structured.
task achievement
Ensure to use more specific examples and relevant details to support your arguments. This helps in providing a more thorough response to the task.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, aim to create a stronger link between your paragraphs. This will help in reinforcing your main points and improving the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas within your paragraphs. Ensure each sentence connects well with the next, enhancing the overall clarity and readability of your essay.
task achievement
You clearly presented both sides of the argument, which demonstrates your ability to understand and respond to the task effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your point of view properly, which helps in reinforcing your argument.

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